February, 2018 | Gold Coast Doulas

Meet Lindsey, our newest Birth Doula!

Leave a Comment / Birth, Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / birth doula, doulas, gold coast doulas

We are very excited to introduce you to Lindsey Lupo. She comes to us with a wealth of knowledge and an amazing background as well as a love for people that extends beyond words.

1) What did you do before you became a doula?
I worked in trauma for 7+ years at a local hospital, became a mom, and decided to pursue holistic living through homeopathy, naturopathy, aromatherapy, and herbology. I graduated with a biomedical sciences degree with a minor in psychology and emphasis in research from Grand Valley State University. I also had the opportunity to publish with Michigan State University on Renal Failure. Working with people has always be my primary fortee.

2) What inspired you to become a doula?
My 7 pregnancies with 2 living children, both of which were traumatic births. I want to offer bereavement support along with healing and empowerment to families that have experienced loss.

3) Tell us about your family.
My husband and I live in Rockford with our two children (4 & 2) and our little weenie dog, Maxwell. We homeschool and are very involved in our faith and community.

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?
Porcupine Mountains because I thoroughly enjoy camping, hiking, nature, and the beauty of the great outdoors. Minus being chased by a bear, of course.

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.
Matt Maher- He facilitates a greater conversation.
John Mayer- Musically brilliant
Chris Tomlin- Inspirational worship leader
Jason Aldean – Sometimes a girl just has to get on a horse and cowgirl up.
Journey – One should never stop believing.

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families?
You’re not alone. Some days are going to be better than others and that’s ok. That’s the reality of the beautiful mess we all live.

7) What do you consider your doula superpower to be?
I am a confident couch and support person. I have the ability to pass that confidence on to others when needed. People feel safe with me and that brings comfort and consistency.

8) What is your favorite food?
Coffee and Avocados – Not together of course.

9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?
Eastown – not for vacation but for everyday pleasures. Some of my favorite places are located here – Marie Catribs, Brewery Vivant, Global Infusion, and more.

10) What are you reading now?
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth

11) Who are your role models?
Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II.

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat” -MT

“There is no place for selfishness and no place for fear! Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands. Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice.” – JPII

Meet Lindsey, our newest Birth Doula! Read More »

Podcast Episode #14: Grief

Leave a Comment / Ask The Doulas Podcast / Alyssa Veneklase / self care

On this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa talks with Cindy of Cindy’s Suds about her experience dealing with grief and how she found her purpose and mission to help sustain her. This podcast is available to listen to on iTunes and Soundcloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome back to another episode of Ask the Doulas. On this episode, we’re talking about grief. I am Alyssa, co-owner and post-partum doula at Gold Coast, and today we are talking to Cindy again from Cindy’s Suds.

Cindy: Hey, how are you?

Alyssa: Welcome.

Cindy: Thank you.

Alyssa: So I read a blog – it’s probably been at least two or three weeks ago, of some really tough stuff that you went through about four weeks ago. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about what happened and then what you went through emotionally and mentally after this stuff kind of hit you pretty hard?

Cindy: Sure, yeah. Well, one of my friends that I’ve been friends with for 20 years or so had a daughter who was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer almost three years ago, and her daughter was about 19, I believe, when she was diagnosed. They didn’t quite exactly know what kind of cancer it was initially just because it was a rare form of Ewing’s sarcoma, which is a rare cancer to begin with, but it had a very rare presentation for her.

Alyssa: And what does that mean?

Cindy: So for Ewing’s sarcoma, it’s a childhood cancer that usually develops in the bones, and it’s usually the femur, like the leg bones, or sometimes the pelvis bones. But for her, it started in soft tissue. It started in her uterus, and so her presenting symptom was heavy periods. So for a 19-year-old with heavy periods, that is fairly common, you know, so she was not really concerned at first because so many teenagers have heavy periods. I mean, that’s just kind of part of your body trying to figure out what kind of cycles you’re going through; if you’re athletic, if you’re dieting, if you’re whatever, your periods are going to be a little bit off. So her period started getting a little heavier and didn’t think much about it at first. Then she went to the doctor, and the doctor was like, well, you know, maybe let’s try a birth control to try to cycle you better, control your cycle. And after several months, it just wasn’t helping, so they tried a different pill, and they weren’t getting the results they expected, so then they thought just to do a quick ultrasound, a pelvic ultrasound, to see if there was a fibroid or something causing the extra bleeding. And they found a mass, which they thought was a fibroid, which would be very clinically acceptable, and yet that would make sense, but when they saw the fibroid, I guess it looked a little bit different, enough for them to decide to biopsy it. And the biopsy showed it was cancerous. And then it took several other steps to figure out what kind of cancer it was because it just wasn’t like a typical uterine cancer or an ovarian cancer. And so when they found out that it was this Ewing’s sarcoma, it had been a few months. It was a rare cancer to begin with, and it just presented differently.

Alyssa: So instead of bones, they found it in the uterus?

Cindy: In the soft tissue, yeah. So she battled cancer for about two and a half years, and her body just couldn’t fight anymore, and at age 22 years old, she succumbed to the cancer, which was devastating for her parents, for her friends, for her family. It’s just such a sad, incredibly awful situation because as a mom, you can completely relate to how you could put yourself in the shoes – you would never, ever want to, but you can just imagine the complete grief and devastation that would cause. So we kind of knew it was coming just because we would get little updates and stuff that she’s really not responding to this medicine or that medicine, and we’ve called in hospice. We could kind of see their progression, but it didn’t really sink in until you get that final text that she had passed because you kept thinking, “She’s 22. She’s young. She’s vibrant. She’s got all this life ahead of her.” And it just didn’t seem like it was actually really going to take her life. It was just very hard to wrap your head around. So that was four weeks ago yesterday, and it has just really rocked our friend group, and you just don’t even know what you’re going to feel like until it’s actually there, on you. We were kind of going through the motions; we were trying to figure out what little ways we could help support our friend or just being in the sidelines, just praying for their family. So in the midst of that, that same week, one of my close friends that I’ve known for 25 years – we lived together when we were in our 20s. We’ve known each other forever. She had been diagnosed with leukemia about a year ago and had gone through the treatment, had gone through a stem cell transplant. Things seemed to be going great. She had great energy; she was really starting to look and feel completely normal. And that same week that my friend’s daughter Kate had died, I got a text from my friend and she said, “I need to tell you my cancer’s back. We’re leaving tomorrow for Texas.” So, boom. You just don’t know when something like that hits you how you’re going to react, and for me, it – besides being so sad for my friend and for her family, as a mom, you just aren’t thinking through all these things, you know, what if she has to leave her kids? This is now my adult friend. If she passes, she’s leaving behind teenagers and a nine-year-old. What is her new normal going to be now? What is this all – how is this new chapter, this new season, going to look? So I just really felt like I shut down. For about two to three weeks, I had a very, very hard time just with normal activities because nothing is normal anymore. You know, my friend’s family is still struggling, obviously. They’re in Texas getting treatment, and her kids have been kind of back and forth, and her kids are there right now with her. Her husband and her nine-year-old are staying down there in Texas. It was just one of those times, I guess, in life where you really realize that we’re not in control, and it was just – it kind of hit me in a way that I didn’t expect it to hit me. Just a lot of sadness, and the realization that so much of our lives we have zero control over. And I’ve never really been affected this personally by cancer before, and so you hear people talk about, “Cancer sucks,” this or that, but man, when it really affects close friends and their family members, it is just is so eye-opening how pervasive cancer is in our communities, and how it is so indiscriminate for who it’s going to attack. You can lead a super, super healthy life, and it can get you. You can lead a really unhealthy life, and it can get you. You can be rich; you can be poor; you can live in a great community; you can live in a poor community. It’s so indiscriminate, and it is so everywhere, and I think that realization of – there’s this uncertainty that just really kind of hit me hard when this news came about a month ago now. So for me personally, I just went through a little mini-depression, and for me to do any work, for me to do anything that was housework, I couldn’t bring myself to do it because it felt so inconsequential, so miniscule to what my friends were going through, that it seemed completely pointless to do the normal routines because their lives were completely shattered. And so it was very interesting, yet I think healthy in a way, because I think when you can empathize and sympathize with people, I think that is sometimes the only way that you can really reach out to someone who’s hurting is if you are there at least with them and you can help them. Just so that – I think if you’re hurting with them, I think you don’t even have to say any words. You’re there with them, and you – grief is such a weird thing. It’s such an individual thing, and everybody grieves differently. So it’s just been a very interesting, sad, heavy kind of a last month, and I just now feel like I’m kind of starting to come out of this little hole that I dug myself into.

Alyssa: I don’t know if it was in your blog or if we were talking, and you told me that you had a friend – I think it was in your blog. A friend actually said to you, “Well, what are you talking about? Your business doesn’t have to stop.” What you’re doing for people; you’re trying to eliminate some of – screw cancer, right? But that’s why you’re doing what you’re doing, and that kind of brought you out of the funk a little bit.

Cindy: Exactly, yeah. And that was something that I had dug myself in so much to this hole that it took my friend to say, “Well, wait a minute. Yeah, cancer does suck,” and she actually has a parent who has cancer and her in-laws have both passed away of cancer, so she is very uniquely tied into the grief of cancer, herself. But she jumped on it, and she was like, “Well, yeah, cancer does suck, and this is exactly why you’re doing what you’re doing with your natural products.” And it kind of gave me that, wow. She’s absolutely right. So I could sit here and wallow in sadness and grief, which is also a needed thing. I’m not dismissing that at all because everyone needs to grieve differently. But it also – when she said that, it kind of gave me this tool to be like, wait a minute. Yeah, there’s choices and reasons why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it may not feel as inconsequential as it did, you know, right after I got such sad news, but it’s a tool for me to at least feel like I can move forward, and I can help in small ways.

Alyssa: Whatever small way you can.

Cindy: Right, and that’s not to say that – you could do every single thing right, and you could still get cancer. I’m not trying to dismiss that and say “Oh, you must not be following all the rules and therefore you got cancer.” That’s not what I’m saying at all. But we do know that if we can make our bodies as cancer-hostile as possible, we’re at least going to hopefully prevent certain types of cancers. Some cancers are going to be more genetically predisposed or they just don’t really know why you get certain types, but we also do know that other types of cancer will grow faster, quicker, if they’re in an environment that’s going to promote disease vs. promote health. So by her saying that to me, it really gave me almost like the fire again to be like, “Well, wait a minute. What I am doing is helping, and it is giving people options.” If you’re trying to be as healthy as possible, you’re going to choose products that are chemical-free, that don’t contain a lot of these chemicals that are known carcinogenics that are just kind of pervasive throughout the bath and body realm out there because they’re cheap or they provide a cheaper quality that you could get vs. a more expensive plant that you’re using in your products. So it did give me that fire to be like, yeah, amongst the sadness and grief and pain, there are little steps that we can do individually to promote wellness and to promote health, and I feel like I’ve got my little corner where I can use Cindy’s Suds to at least offer families a chemical-free option for bath and body needs. And so I’ve kind of had to keep grasping back to that to remind myself, “This is why I’m doing what I’m doing. This is why I’m doing it.” So whereas the reason I started Cindy’s Suds was because one of my sons had really bad skin issues, bad eczema, super dry skin, I feel like ten years later, I’ve got this renewed fire to be like, well, wait a minute. Yeah, this is what started me, the skin issues. And now the cancer is this newfound fire in my soul, that I can use this sadness and this grief that I’ve experienced with my friends and use that more as a fire to move on and to continue offering products that are safe just so that we have alternative choices instead of this sea of chemical-laden products that are out there. I’m not they saying will cause cancer, but I’m saying we do know that there are so many things that are bad for our bodies, and why not try to eliminate as much as possible so that you’re trying to at least start out on as best a footing as you can because cancer does not pick and choose its victims. And so if you can create a healthier, cancer-hostile environment in your body, you’re better off starting there than you are two steps backwards where you do have those chemicals in your system.

Alyssa: Right.

Cindy: So kind of a big mind-shift, philosophy-shift, heart-shift has occurred over this last month, and it’s just – yeah. It’s been a learning month for me, I feel like.

Alyssa: Thank you for sharing, first of all. But I’m glad that you’re finding that new fire and you can still be a great friend to your friends. Thank you for sharing. We’ll have Cindy on again soon. If you have any questions for her, you can find her on her website.

Cindy: Sure, you can reach me at my website, www.cindyssuds.com. There’s a link to get ahold of me directly from the website. You can also email me directly at cindy@cindyssuds.com. And if you have any insight into what we’ve talked about today or if you want to share your story, I just feel like we can all be connected in the stories that we share and how we support each other through those.

Alyssa: Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Podcast Episode #14: Grief Read More »

Podcast Episode #13: Better Body Image Conference

Leave a Comment / Ask The Doulas Podcast, Classes / Alyssa Veneklase

In this episode of Ask the Doulas, Alyssa talks with Bri Luginbill and Connie Flachs about the Better Body Image Conference taking place in Grand Rapids, MI on March 11th. This podcast is available to listen to on iTunes and Soundcloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa, co-owner and post-partum doula, and today we have Bri Luginbill and Connie Flachs from the Better Body Image Conference with us.

Bri: Hi, everybody.

Connie: Hello.

Alyssa: We’ll let you introduce yourselves in a minute, but Gold Coast is doing something with you guys that’s really cool. It’s your first Better Body Image Conference that you’re holding March 11th at the Wealthy Street Theatre, and we are doing it with you because we are putting a panel together in regards to body image and mothers after pregnancy because your body goes through so many changes. So we’re super excited to do that with you. Can you kind of give us an overview of BBI? When I say BBI, that’s Better Body Image Conference. So can you tell me a little bit about how it got started? Start from the beginning and then let’s explain some details.

Bri: I’m going to let Connie start because this is kind of yours.

Connie: So this is a topic I’ve been really passionate about. In my day job, I’m a dancer for Grand Rapids Ballet, and so I’m consistently looking at my body in the mirror and have gone through ups and downs in my relationship with that and have found a lot of support and resources online or maybe with professionals but have always had a hard time connecting within the community to find some solidarity there, so I wanted to create a space that allowed people to come together and talk about these issues just within a community. So I was thinking about it and was like, it would be so cool. There are documentaries out about this; we could show a documentary and have a panel discussion. Just thinking about this idea, I stumbled across a Facebook page of an event that had happened in Grand Rapids called Go Boldly, Love Your Body. I was like, this is really aligned. I’m going to send a message to this woman who started this and see if she has any tips – and that woman was Bri. So we met for coffee at Lantern and talked a bit, and I told Bri kind of what my idea was, and she was like, yes, that was so awesome. I would love to be involved. Let’s make it bigger.

Bri: Let’s make it an almost all-day thing. And so we met back in November of 2017, so fast forward now, it’s February, and our conference is in March. So we’ve been kind of going really, really –

Alyssa: You’ve been working.

Bri: Yeah, really, really fast to do all the connections and get everything going, but when I had met with Connie, I just really felt that together we could make this something more than just a movie panel and showing. We could have workshops so people are attending something and getting the tools there and actually having an experience during that, as well, and then also having a keynote come in and talk so people are getting inspired. Connie really inspired me because my Go Boldly campaign was in 2014, and then I did little bits here and there, but when she messaged me, it kind of ignited the fire back in me about the issue that I was really passionate about as well, but just in a different way, to be able to bring it in a bigger way to the community than it has ever been before. This will be the first inaugural Better Body Image Conference in Grand Rapids, and we’re so excited about it. We actually have Spectrum as our major partner. We have a bunch of other local businesses that are sponsoring us as well. And obviously Gold Coast Doulas; we had reached out to you to do one of our very own workshops that does focus on the body post-partum for mothers. But there are so many other ones, as well.

Alyssa: So tell me. I know it’s from 12:00 to 6:00 and Gold Coast has a workshop at 2:00. What happens when somebody signs up – what does the day look like from 12:00 to 6:00?

Bri: So someone signs up and they decide, okay, I want to attend the whole day, which like Alyssa said, will be 12:00 to 6:00. They can come in as early as 11:30. We’ll have coffee; they can talk; they can just kind of relax into the day. We register them, and we see their tickets and make sure that everything’s all there. And so tickets for the keynote as well as the movie are completely free, so we try to make that really accessible to all, and so they come in, they go to the keynote from 12:00 to 1:00. There’s a space from 1:00 to 2:00 before the workshops to just kind of, after the keynote, connect with people or if you want to go grab something to eat that’s a little bit more than the snacks that we will provide, there’s a lot of local places around that you can do that in. Then people will come back for the workshops from 2:00 to 2:45. There’s three workshops each time slot, so Gold Coast has one of those, and they’ll be in the micro-cinema, so it can house up to 60 people. Then we’ll have one that’s a little more intimate in a conference room. Rachel Steil, actually, from Running in Silence, who went through an eating disorder and published a book about it, will be talking during that one in the conference room, and then we’ll actually have a physical workshop. The one from 2:00 to 2:45 is the one that’s physical. I think that one’s Dana, and that will be in the annex. You do have to walk outside for it, but it’s actually like a little dance studio, so you’ll get to do yoga, but also, it’s about mind and body as well as the physical movements.

Connie: So as an attendee, you pick one of those three in that first time slot, and then you can pick one of the three in the second time slot as well, if you want.

Bri: Yep, and then in the 3:00 to 3:45 range, we have another physical workshop by Jennifer Feldman. And she’ll be doing that in the annex as well, and then we also have another panel discussion by Partners for a Racism-Free Society led by May, and that is about the transgression of mainstream beauty. So it is addressing issues and stigmas found in beauty in other cultures. And then the third one – I’m actually surprised that I’m remembering every single one off the top of my head, but the third one will be in the conference room, and that one’s going to be real food wellness.

Connie: Laura Burkett.

Bri: With Laura Burkett.

Connie: A holistic nutritionist.

Alyssa: That sounds really awesome. Tell us a little bit more about the keynote. Who is she? What is she going to speak about?

Connie: So Elena Rossini – I watched a couple of different body image documentaries, and I came across The Illusionists documentary, which really felt like it connected with what I was dreaming of for this conference, so I contacted the filmmaker, Elena Rossini. And so we talked on the phone, and she said – she makes other movies for her day job, and she was interested in exploring body image, so she traveled to eight different countries and made this documentary about the singular idea of beauty that has kind of spread throughout the entire world and this very narrow, westernized ideal that a lot of people feel pressure to fit. So she’s traveled. She splits her time living between Italy and Paris, and then she’s traveled all over the world talking about this movie she’s made, so she’s spoken at a lot of different universities. She’s given a presentation at Silicon Valley. So we’re really honored that she was willing and interested in coming to Grand Rapids.

Alyssa: Yeah, it’s amazing.

Connie: And she is really passionate and excited, so to hear her story about investigating, making the movie, the process of that, and then also the process of speaking to so many different people about it.

Alyssa: So she speaks from 12:00 to 1:00, and then there’s a time from 1:00 to 2:00. Is she going to talk to people? Will she be available?

Connie: She should be around to network and connect, and I believe she’ll stay for the whole conference, but that hour after her keynote, she’ll be around to answer questions or give more information.

Alyssa: So it’s going to be the keynote; you have an hour to network; you have workshops. And then at 4:00, you screen the movie, correct?

Connie: Yes.

Alyssa: So that is free as well, so people can come see the keynote, and then if they want to come back at 4:00 to watch the documentary, they can.

Connie: Yeah, so basically there are three parts to the day. There’s the keynote, there’s the two workshop sessions, and then there’s the movie. And the only paid thing are the two workshop sessions that are ticketed.

Alyssa: Okay.

Bri: And if you buy just one workshop, it’s $15.00, but if you buy a bundle for two, it’s only $20.00.

Alyssa: So for $20.00, you can come for the whole day and get everything.

Connie: Yeah, and we encourage you to reserve your tickets in advance, even the tickets for the keynote and the movie. They’re free, but that will help us with planning and make sure you have a spot.

Alyssa: And space is still limited. The Wealthy Street Theatre, the main theater, has a lot of room, but especially for the workshops, they’re going to be pretty limited in space.

Bri: Yeah, I think Wealthy Theatre can seat up to 400, so for the keynote and the movie, we can have up to 400, but the other ones, yeah, I think the max is 60 in one of the rooms.

Alyssa: So for interested people, how do they find you and how do they register?

Connie: So you can go to our website. It’s www.betterbodyimageconference.com. And then you actually can click Reserve Your Ticket. It’s one of the pages, and there’s just three big buttons, and you can click either button to reserve whether you want to go to the keynote, the movie, or a workshop. It will direct you to our Brown Paper Tickets link, and then you’ll reserve your space. And for us, we’ll get to know that you’re coming. It will show us your name, so we have you on the list. So when you do come in, we’ll be like, yep, you have reserved a ticket. Go ahead.

Alyssa: So betterbodyimageconference.com?

Bri: Yep. And we do have Instagram, too.

Connie: You can go on our Facebook, as well, and that will get you to where you need to be, too, if that’s easier to navigate.

Alyssa: And I know we had a link on our Facebook page, as well. I think we had something we posted.

Bri: Yes, yes.

Alyssa: So we’ll try to do that again, too, so people can find it.

Bri: But even just saying “Better Body Image Conference,” even without Grand Rapids, I have seen it pull up pretty well because our website is Better Body Image Conference, so it will be easy to find.

Alyssa: Okay. Anything else anyone needs to know about this conference?

Bri: Know that it’s a safe environment; we’re here to have fun, but also connect and provide people with resources for anyone dealing with body image issues or anyone that just is curious as to what’s going on and is passionate about this. I know that I have had my own in the past, and I mean, my body’s going to always change because we’re always growing older and in different ways, so it’s a consistent thing that I’ll be going through throughout my life, and I feel like being able to be here and see what resources are in the community is just going to be so helpful to me and I feel like to everyone.

Connie: Yeah, I think for me, too. Bri and I are not experts, and I think it’s important to know that we’re not planning this conference because we are experts on this topic. We are planning it because we want all the experts in one place to learn from, so yeah, we’re just the organizers and really excited to bring all these people together that are doing such great work in the community and try to strengthen the Grand Rapids community as a whole.

Alyssa: It sounds like you’ve done an amazing job of gathering a really, really good pool of experts and resources. I think it will be an amazing event. We are really excited and thrilled to be joining you.

Bri: We’re excited to have you.

Connie: Yeah, it’s going to be great.

Alyssa: So yeah, find them online. Check out our Facebook pages, and if you come up with any questions, do you have any email on your website?

Bri: Yes, we do, and if you want to email us directly, besides our Contact Us form, it’s betterbodyimageconference@gmail.com. Things that we are looking for – volunteers. We definitely need volunteers just to help throughout the day just with registration or set up and tear down or just being available if people want to know where a workshop is and they got here a little late or a little early, directing them.

Alyssa: Volunteers are always good at events, right?

Connie: Yeah, and we are also looking for people to share info about the conference, so if this is interesting to you, please pass it on. Share on your social media. And sponsorships are still available if you feel really passionately about this.

Bri: We still have sponsorships. They are platinum through bronze. It ranges anywhere from $150.00 to $1000.00, and we do have, I think, maybe one more platinum sponsorship available just because tables are limited in the Wealthy Theatre, so if you want a table, we only have five spots.

Connie: And all donations are tax-deductible. We’re not a non-profit yet, but we have a fiscal sponsor, Grand Rapids Ballet.

Alyssa: Okay. Well, that’s amazing. We’re excited. Check out their website. Mark your calendars for March 11, and we hope to see you guys there.

Podcast Episode #13: Better Body Image Conference Read More »

Podcast Episode #12: Fertility Struggles

Leave a Comment / Ask The Doulas Podcast, Birth / Alyssa Veneklase / childbirth, pregnancy

In this podcast episode, we talk with Lisa about her struggles with fertility and about the birth of her son, Ethan, who was conceived via IVF. This podcast is available to listen to on iTunes and Soundcloud.

Alyssa: Hi, welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas! I am Alyssa, co-owner of Gold Coast and post-partum doula. Today, we are talking to Lisa, who is a past client of ours. She was actually a post-partum client of mine. Hello, Lisa.

Lisa: Hi.

Alyssa: So we’ve talked a lot in the time that we’ve worked together, and you have kind of an interesting story about your fertility journey and how – you know, I think I thought the same thing. You get off birth control, and you think you’re going to get pregnant right away, and when it doesn’t happen, our brains just go straight to worry. So tell me – start from the beginning. You got off the Pill, and then what?

Lisa: Yeah. So it was the second marriage for both my husband and I, and I was 35. We went off the Pill, and I literally thought that same month, it would just be, boom. You know, we’re pregnant. And it didn’t happen. And I think he was 37 at the time. We were trying for seven or eight months, and nothing was happening, and we just didn’t – we were confused, like what could possibly be going wrong here? And so I went to my ob-gyn, and she said, you know, you should just get the initial fertility screens done to see if everything is working for both you and him.

Alyssa: So you got screened, or you both got screened?

Lisa: We both got screened.

Alyssa: And what does that entail? For you and him?

Lisa: Well, for my husband, he needed a sperm sample. And then they look at things like morphology of the sperm and – like, you can have all different things happen with your sperm. You can have two-headed sperm. The tails of your sperm can be too long or too short or whatever. I think the typical morphology is that four percent of the sperm is good. That’s kind of the average. But I think his was either one or two percent, so he was less than half of what a highly fertile man would be considered. And for me, it involved a bunch of blood tests that test your hormone levels at the different parts of your cycle, and then also some x-rays. I can’t remember – I think it was called an HCG where they pump ink through your uterus and your fallopian tubes to make sure that there’s nothing plugged, that basically the sperm can come up and the eggs can come down so there’s nothing blocking. And so we did that, and I was kind of considered more of advanced maternal age, and then my husband was, as it turns out, not super highly fertile at that point. And then we had a couple of miscarriages after that. Two, but they were really early, so I wouldn’t even have been pregnant quite a month. And then we thought, well, what’s going on with that? Then I had some other health issues going, and one of my health providers suggested I go get some more tests that were autoimmune-related, because it turns out, if you have a bunch of autoimmune things going on, that can lead to early term miscarriages. And then I tested positive for all of this autoimmune stuff, which led into a bunch of autoimmune suppressing therapies and two rounds of IVF. The first round, we didn’t get any viable eggs, and the second round, we got one. And I was just beside myself. We had 28 eggs, and out of all those 28, we only had one viable one. And my hopes were not high because of all this autoimmune stuff that was going on, and we just had one egg. We did a frozen embryo transfer because we did get the chromosomal testing done, which is how we knew if the eggs were viable or not, and then with the one egg, we got pregnant. But all said and done, it was a two-and-a-half-year process for us. And then we ended up having our son when I was 39.

Alyssa: Wow.

Lisa: Yeah, yeah.

Alyssa: I did not know that Ethan was IVF.

Lisa: He was, yeah. And then during the whole pregnancy, I was highly monitored because of all the autoimmune stuff going on, and that was just –

Alyssa: So what do you mean by autoimmune therapies and stuff you had to do?

Lisa: Well, I had infusions every other week. I was on steroids to keep my immune system down the whole time. And a bunch of other smattering of things; drugs that I can’t really even pronounce at this point. It just basically calms a woman’s immune system down enough to not reject a fetus, and so then you’re highly monitored; you’re getting blood tests all the time to see where your inflammation and stuff like that is, and so we did that. And then it turns out I had placenta previa, which is where the placenta is covering the cervix, and so then I went on bedrest for five weeks in the hospital in the antepartum unit. I was bleeding all the time, and then we had the fourth big bleeding incident, and they didn’t think it would stop. So we went into an emergency C-section, and then he was born five weeks early.

Alyssa: Oh, my gosh.

Lisa: Yeah. It was a lot.

Alyssa: So how was your pregnancy up until the five-week bedrest point?

Lisa: I had to take short-term disability from work because I was – I only know this because I had to do this for insurance, but I was doing 30 to 40 hours of medical care a week to do all the autoimmune stuff, and that lasted through week 20. And so I had this kind of honeymoon period between week 20, which is when your body starts calming down as it’s getting through the second trimester. So from an autoimmune perspective, if you get through to the second trimester, or into the second trimester, then you’re pretty much considered in the clear.

Alyssa: Your body is saying, “Okay, I get it. You’re staying. I’m not going to try to get you out anymore.”

Lisa: Yeah. And from a NICU perspective, if you get to – I think it’s week 23 or 24. I can’t remember which of those two, but with all the technology that we have today, it’s pretty much considered that they can help along a 24-week old. So once you get there, at least even if something should happen, then you can –

Alyssa: That would be tough. That would be a lot of NICU time, a 24-week old baby. So did Ethan have any NICU time at five weeks early?

Lisa: He did. We were in the NICU for eight days, and that was enough.

Alyssa: That’s not bad. I’m glad you didn’t say five weeks.

Lisa: No, we thought we were going to be in there for five weeks because they basically set your expectations that whatever would bring them to full term is typically considered what your NICU stay would be.

Alyssa: So even though he was born five weeks early, he was pretty healthy. Was he big?

Lisa: He was big. He was 5 pounds, 9 ounces, at 35 weeks and a day, so that was good. He just had some issues with keeping warm and then keeping his blood sugars up. And then I didn’t – I was one of the lucky ones. I didn’t really ever have any challenges with breastfeeding, and so that went really well, and I was just so grateful for that because there was so much that had been a challenge, you know, leading up to that.

Alyssa: Yeah, that on top would have sent you over the edge!

Lisa: I think I just would have melted at that point.

Alyssa: Yeah. So do you have any advice for parents who, like you, get off the Pill, think it’s going to happen right away, and now two and a half years later and two IVF treatments later – how do you deal with that? How do you and your partner deal with that together?

Lisa: Oh, that’s a hard one.

Alyssa: I mean, it’s probably very individual, right? Based on personalities and how you handle stress and how you handle stress together, but do you think there’s one universal piece of advice? Is it be patient? Is it –

Lisa: I would say if you’re older, and I would say maybe the 35 age range and plus, if things aren’t happening right away, I would just say, just go get the stuff tested. Don’t wait a year or whatever. Just go get stuff tested out because those years, from even 35 to 36 and from 36 to 37, those really start counting for the quality of your fertility. Not that you couldn’t ever make a child; it’s the quality of the –

Alyssa: It’s going to get harder every year.

Lisa: For the woman, it’s the quality of the eggs. It gets harder every year. And I think the other thing that, looking back, I would suggest for anybody who is doing fertility treatments, try to do one thing a day that is just for you that makes you feel cared for because during our fertility, and then pregnancy, and then delivery, I think that my husband and I – we were just out of juice by the time our son got here, and that’s when you really need it. Right? That’s when you have a baby then, in your arms who isn’t sleeping, and you just need help, and so I think if I just would have, I don’t know, maybe slept more – I mean, that sounds ridiculous, but –

Alyssa: Like take a nap?

Lisa: Take a nap! Like, take a nap when you’re pregnant, you know? Just try to nurture yourself in whatever way possible that is meaningful for you. And I am not saying, like, go buy a new wardrobe. I am literally saying, if you really like to read, go spend an hour a day and read. Indulge yourself and rejuvenate yourself a little bit because you’re going to need it.

Alyssa: And you don’t have to read about fertility or read about baby stuff. Read something that you enjoy.

Lisa: Find the absolute best providers that you can, and ask good questions, and then trust. Because otherwise, it’s just –

Alyssa: You can constantly question, right? Everything and everybody because we can Google it.

Lisa: Yes! That’s another thing. Don’t Google! Limit yourself to five minutes of Googling a day or something, but don’t do that, yeah. That’s a rabbit hole.

Alyssa: Well, next time we talk to you, Lisa, I think we’re going to get into your post-partum journey and how you got here; how you ended up here in good old Grand Rapids. All right, thank you for sharing.

Podcast Episode #12: Fertility Struggles Read More »

Meet Our New Postpartum Doula, Gina!

Leave a Comment / Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / doulas, gold coast doulas, postpartum doulas

We have another amazing postpartum doula to introduce to you! Read on to find out more about Gina and her family.

1. What did you do before becoming a Doula?
Before becoming a Doula, I nannied for two years until I had my first daughter. When she arrived I became a stay at home mom. A year later my second daughter was born. I’ve been home with my girls for almost 4 years.

2. What inspired you to become a Doula?
As soon as I became a mom, I absolutely fell in love with all things birth and babies. I loved labor and delivery and the new season of motherhood that I found myself in. I enjoyed all of the ups and downs of adding a new life to our family. I felt inspired to bring that joy into my Doula work. I want to support new parents in this incredible season of twists and turns. My heart is to come in and cheerlead parents and help them achieve their vision for what family life will look like for them.

3. Tell us about your family.
I have been married to my incredible husband, Daniel, for five years. He is currently studying to become a licensed electrician and works for Buist Electric. We have two amazing daughters, Nora and Estelle. They will be four and three this coming June. We love spending time together as a family. We especially enjoy going to parks and museums together.

4. What is your favorite vacation spot and why?
I love Traverse city. I love wandering in and out of all of the cute shops, going to the beach, and eating at all of the delicious restaurants.

5. Name your top 5 bands/musicians and what you like about them
I enjoy a mix of music. I like Adele, Mumford and Sons, John Mark McMillan, Amos Lee, Ben Folds. I love anything emotional, catchy, and beautiful. I like just about every genre.

6. What’s the best advice you’ve given to new families?
Trust yourself. You know your baby and yourself better than anyone else. Trust you instincts and intuition.

7. What do you consider your Doula super power to be?
Calming fussy babies and getting them to sleep.

8. What’s your favorite food.
I love breakfast food.

9. What’s your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast.
I love Holland!

10. What are you reading right now?
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin

11. Who are your role models?
My mother in law, Gayle. She was a stay at home mom to seven kids. She is strong, loving, and consistent in everything she does. Also, my pastor’s wife, Ang. She is humble and a woman of strong character. I aspire to be just like both of these amazing women.

Meet Our New Postpartum Doula, Gina! Read More »

Meet our new Birth and Postpartum Doula, Julie!

Leave a Comment / Doulas / Alyssa Veneklase / birth doula, doulas, gold coast doulas, postpartum doulas

We’re excited to welcome Julie Skripka to the Gold Coast team as a Birth and Postpartum Doula! Let’s get to know her a little better.

1) What did you do before you became a doula?

Before starting my doula adventure, I was home raising and homeschooling my 4 children. I currently nanny and run the nursery at church. I went to Michigan State University and have an English degree with minors in Child Development and Communications.

2) What inspired you to become a doula?

I love babies and helping others! I want to empower and support women through this life change.

3) Tell us about your family.

I have been married to my husband, Nick, since August 2005. We have 4 awesome children, Harper, Hunter, Heath, and Hope. My family is my whole world!

4) What is your favorite vacation spot and why?

We love going to the Silver Lake Sand Dunes. Sun, sand and fun! I grew up going there as a kid and it’s fun to bring my kids and make new memories.

5) Name your top five bands/musicians and tell us what you love about them.

Skillet: They put on an amazing show! I love how I can feel the power in their music and they sing about my hero!
Mumford and Sons: The mix of instruments this folk rock group plays gives them a unique sound. It’s hard to stop listening to them!
Jack Johnson: Things are always better together! His lyrics are smart and I love his acoustic folk sound.
Lauren Daigle: Lauren’s voice is beautiful and the messages in her songs always uplift me.
Toby Mac: His energy is contagious!

6) What is the best advice you have given to new families?

Do what works for your family and love on your babies often! They grow so fast!!

7) What do you consider your doula superpower to be?

Calming babies and helping them sleep. I have been asked if I’m magic!!

8) What is your favorite food?

Tacos!!

9) What is your favorite place in West Michigan’s Gold Coast?

Any Lake Michigan beach at sunset is pretty sweet!

10) What are you reading now?

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkins.

11) Who are your role models?

My grandma is my role model! She had 7 kids. I admire her for her love of family and her huge heart. She taught me to spoil my people with love, attention, and gifts. To listen and remember what people say and to always check back in with them. She had a spunk for life I carry in my heart with me everyday. She encouraged me to be me and loved me unconditionally, and I want others to feel the way she always made me feel!

Meet our new Birth and Postpartum Doula, Julie! Read More »

February 2018