The Grandparent’s Guide to Truly Helping After Baby Arrives

Congratulations—you’re about to become a grandparent! There’s something magical about watching your child step into parenthood themselves.

 

Here’s the thing, though: the role of a grandparent has completely evolved. The old “let me know if you need anything” approach no longer works. New parents are exhausted and don’t even know what they need help with. (Spoiler alert: they need help with a lot.)

 

Not to mention the parade of well-meaning visitors who want to meet the new arrival. “Visitors can be exhausting. Everyone wants to come hold the baby, which isn’t usually very helpful,” says Kristin Revere, certified postpartum doula, author, and owner of Gold Coast Doulas in West Michigan. As a modern grandparent, you can step in and be different.

 

Today’s supportive grandparents jump in proactively, anticipating their needs and handling the unglamorous tasks so their children can focus on recovery and bonding. Here, you’ll find four practical ways to provide support that new parents really need, according to Kristin.

Why Your Adult Kids Need YOUR Help

Remember those newborn days? The exhaustion, the overwhelming responsibility, the feeling like you had no idea what you were doing. Well, your not-so-little one is living that reality right now—and honestly, they need you more than ever.

 

Your child isn’t just adjusting to life with a baby. They’re recovering physically from birth (which takes 6-12 weeks minimum, by the way), dealing with major hormonal shifts, and trying to figure out this whole parenting thing while running on maybe a few hours of sleep.

 

This is where you come in as their built-in support system. You’ve been there—you know that newborns cry a lot, that feeding can be challenging, and that some days feel like you’re just surviving. Your adult child needs this perspective to know they’re not alone. Plus, your hands-on help with everything from baby care to keeping them fed and their house functional is also critical.

 

Basically, you need to be the village that you needed back in the day.

Practical Ways to Provide Meaningful Support

Yes! Grandparents can provide support after birth without feeling like they’re overstepping. Here are four ways how:

1. Household Support (The Real MVP)

As a seasoned parent, you know how chaotic life feels coming home from the hospital with a new baby. It’s tough to settle into a routine that balances caring for a newborn and maintaining the household as usual. One of the best ways to provide support after birth is to take some of this housework off your child’s shoulders.

 

From washing and putting away the laundry to doing the dishes or watching any older siblings and pets, there’s a lot grandparents can do to support new parents postpartum. Even if all you do is offer to grocery shop, run errands, or prepare meals to deliver, it will help your child out more than you can imagine.

2. Emotional and Informational Support

There’s one very underrated tip every new grandparent can follow: always provide emotional and informational support. But the key is to do it the right way by actively listening without judging. Even if you feel like “correcting” the way your child is parenting, just don’t.

 

The way modern parents care for babies has evolved. And it’s possible your child might parent differently from you. Try to validate your child’s parenting choices even if they’re different from yours. Make light suggestions or share your experience genuinely and positively so your child doesn’t feel discouraged. And always, always make time to listen.

3. Respecting New Parenting Practices

Like we mentioned earlier, your child may parent differently from you. If that’s the case, then try to support your child with their goals, no matter how much they differ from the choices you would make. Respect the routines your child sets for their baby. Or how they decide to feed their little one by breastfeeding or with formula—even if it’s different from how you did it.

 

Another thing to remember is that methods of caring for a newborn have changed over the years. There are now new, modern approaches to sleep training, baby wearing, using car seats, and safe sleep that your child may follow. If they choose a practice different from yours, respect their choice by following their wishes.

4. Gifting Professional Support

You may feel obligated to try to provide support to your child in all areas of their life. That’s a normal part of a parent’s love! However, don’t stretch yourself thin. Gifting your child professional support to take over specific duties, like overnight newborn care, housekeeping, and even lactation support, is a major help.

 

Professionals like overnight postpartum doulas are a great resource to gift your child, who help with both newborn care and emotional support. There are also lactation consultants who can step in to make sure that breastfeeding is going well and create personalized feeding plans. And, for the times when your child might be struggling with a baby that won’t sleep, you can give them the great gift of a sleep consultant to save the day. Or… night, really.

Attend a Modern Grandparent Class (Yes, They Exist!)

You might still be wondering what your exact role is as a grandparent. If that’s you, then attending a modern grandparent class can clear up any confusion and educate you on how to be the most supportive, hands-on grandparent in your child’s life.

 

For example, our Modern Grandparent class (virtual or in-person!) at Gold Coast Doulas will teach you about:

 

• Newborn health and safety recommendations
• Safe sleeping
• Car seats
• Formula feeding
• Breastmilk
• Baby poo
• Babyproofing
• And so much more

 

Supporting your child as they figure out parenthood—whether it’s their first baby or their fourth—is honestly one of life’s greatest privileges. You get a front-row seat to watching them discover their own parenting style while being their safety net during those overwhelming early weeks.

 

It’s not about grand gestures or expensive gifts. The reality is that thoughtful, practical support is what makes the real difference. Think loading their dishwasher, holding the baby so they can shower, or simply saying “you’re doing great” on their hardest days. These moments matter more than you know. We’re rooting for you!

 

Kristin Revere, MM, CED, NCS, is a certified birth and postpartum doula and the founder of Gold Coast Doulas in Grand Rapids, Michigan. She is also the co-host of Ask the Doulas Podcast and co-author of Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby.