Self-Care | Gold Coast Doulas

Nursing & The Entrepreneur

Leave a Comment / Breastfeeding, Parenting, Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / maternity leave, nursing, professional moms, returning to work

Today’s guest blog is from our dear friend, Kristina Bird. She is a partner with The People Picture Company, a photography studio located in the heart of downtown Grand Rapids committed to producing magazine quality photography for all of life’s milestones.

Sitting in my car, the beating hum of my pump out of sync with the radio, I express as much milk as possible during my strategically timed “break” from photographing a wedding. That’s where you would have found me if you were looking last Friday. I am a photographer, business owner, and mom. Not in that order. Actually, the order gets a little muddled from day to day.

Most days, I’m a mom first and foremost. I follow a routine that keeps the house in order, so I can spend all day with my 15 week (3.5 month) old son, MacGregor. I read blogs about sleep training, and development stages, and 10 ways to help my baby with gas. I research how to clean stains out of eco-friendly cloth diapers, and do a lot of laundry. I am a typical stay-at-home-mom.

Except I’m not. I own a business. It’s a photography studio with an upstairs flat, which means I literally live above my work, and it’s always on my mind and in my ears as I hear the work day go on without me. I am blessed to have a husband, who is not only my partner in life but also my partner in business, keep everything flowing with our amazing team. We are a family and I love being able to watch my family grow – all of them. But in order to grow my businesses, I have to take time away from my son, which means I have to pump.

Being a nursing mom is hard. Being a nursing mom and owning a business is even harder.

Being a mom isn’t pushed out of my head when MacGregor is in daycare and I’m in the studio or on a photoshoot. There are a thousand and one things about him that I think about during the day, but one that is the hardest to ignore is nursing – mostly because it comes with a friendly, sometimes painful, reminder. If I’m at the studio, it’s a bit time consuming and interruptive, but easy for the most part since I live upstairs and have a pumping station setup with everything I need. I’m lucky.

When I’m on a photoshoot, I join the thousands of other working moms who need to worry about having everything packed – and I mean everything. A forgotten hands-free pumping bra required me to hold both pumps up to my breasts in a shower room (what I was offered in place of a nursing/lactation room) not too long ago. With both hands occupied, I had no access to my phone, which meant no looking through photos of my son to help trigger a let-down, no updating social media to share anything from the photoshoot I was on, and no reading articles to occupy my brain in the very bland, nothing to look at, bare walls. It also meant that if I didn’t triple check that I locked the door, I would have been showing a little more than intended if someone entered the room.

Which also leads me to location location location. A shower room is not ideal, but it is one step above a bathroom stall. If there is no nursing room and no office I can get permission into, I typically will pump in my car. It’s such a frequented location, I’m thinking about setting up a pumping station. But one thing that is always a concern, no matter where you pump, is the dreaded spillage. Whoever said not to cry over spilt milk was not a pumping mom. You will do it, you will cry, and it is ok. Thinking about it, I might want to add a change of clothes to my car pumping station.

Then there’s the whole concern about having enough expressed milk stored for when MacGregor’s in daycare, and starting a stash for when our nursing journey ends. Plus finding a place to store it all! My freezer is 70% milk-related, 20% frozen food, and 10% ice machine. Making sure I’m bringing enough expressed milk to daycare is a challenge. Calculating how many ounces he should be drinking throughout the day, estimating how much he drinks when we’re nursing, and always sending that one extra bag. Luckily, there’s help.

It takes a village.

There’s a reason they say “it takes a village to raise a child,” but I believe the village is not just the raising of a child, they’re helping raise parents too.

We have a multitude of resources available to us, let’s take advantage of them! Chances are your pediatrician’s office has a nurse on call, specifically there to answer your questions. Postpartum doulas and lactation consultants are also great sources of information and guidance. Our bodies went through so much change in 9 months, and they’re continuing to change postpartum as we nourish our children. We should lean on those that have seen it a few times to give us help.

I get a lot of support from my breastfeeding group. Not only can I better track MacGregor’s weight and calculate how much he’s getting while nursing, I can talk with other moms who are having similar experiences. Crowdsourcing with other moms and a lactation consultant at the same time has been wonderful for me. I’m also learning about future hurdles I may have to jump over.

I’ve also joined a nursing moms Facebook group, which has been amazing for crowdsourcing. Thanks to the group, I now use my limited freezer space wiser without bags of milk spilling out (yes, I cried). Facebook groups are also perfect to scroll while you’re pumping on the job – help another mom out with her questions, give support to struggling moms, we’ve all been there – we’re all there right now! One thing to remember, you are also a part of someone else’s village. Help them, and send positivity into the universe, it’ll come back your way.

Is breast best? For some, sure. For others, it might not be for a variety of reasons – I’m not going to judge. For now it works for me, we’ll see what the future holds. Either way, to all the mompreneurs out there, we got this.

______

Photos by The People Picture Company

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Mothership Certified Health Service Providers

Leave a Comment / Classes, Doulas, Parenting, Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / babies, birth doula, postpartum doulas, self care

Many of our doulas are Mothership Certified Health Service Providers. Sounds cool, but what does that mean? Here’s a simplified breakdown of what we learned in our training and why it’s so important.

The training involved learning the difference between empathy and sympathy. We understand that empathy never starts with, “At least…”. Here’s a great video that demonstrates the difference between the two.

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It’s important to allow a client to feel their emotions, and sometimes the best thing to do is to let them talk and not say anything at all. It’s okay to just be with someone. We don’t need to try to fix the person or the situation.

Storytelling is a great vehicle for release. Maybe it’s the release of a fear or anxiety. Maybe it’s the release of a traumatic birth experience a client hasn’t talked about yet. It can also be very uplifting. Sharing a personal story of redemption with a client can help calm fears. It can also make you more relatable if you open up and show some vulnerability.

We understand that everyone holds a certain level of bias, but knowing where those bias’ come from and how to eliminate them is critical. Being aware is the first step, the identifying them, and acting according to our values. But the best thing you can do to eliminate bias is constant exposure to diverse situations. To feel comfortable outside our bubble, you need to get outside your bubble!

Our training also talked about stress and shifting the way we think about stress. Maybe those fight or fight responses are there for a reason! Our bodies are preparing us to handle the situation at hand.

After our training we pledged to the following:

To better understand ourselves by reflecting on our strengths and challenges by practicing self-care, so that we an give the best care to our clients (because having compassion for others starts with self-compassion). We will actively work on understanding and challenging our personal biases which can affect how we deliver services.
To better understand our clients by thinking about our clients in the context of their lives, considering how we can best serve them given their circumstances, feelings, challenges, and strengths. We will look for nonverbal emotional and cultural cues so we know how to best approach our clients when delivering services.
To build better connections and promote empowerment by being intentional in how we project our nonverbal communication cues, and by our choice of words.

Mothership was inspired based on their own experiences and the experiences of friends and family. They started with values and a vision, and then spent about a year researching how they could best serve families in their important role as parents. Using a human-centered design approach, they listened to moms, dads, other caregivers, and various health care providers like nurses, lactation consultants, doulas, and peer counselors to better understand family needs, health system constraints, existing initiatives, and opportunities for making an impact. From there, they developed their mission, guiding principles, and programs.

At Gold Coast Doulas, we believe the client and health partner relationship should be emotional and relational. It’s a parent-centered relationship where we guide you and help you feel confident in our role. You will be seen, heard, and valued without judgment. We will listen to your unique needs and understand your unique situation.

To see which of our doulas are Mothership Certified Health Service Providers, look for the seal on their website bios.

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What Does Self-Care Look Like For You?

Leave a Comment / Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / self care

Today Kristin talks about what self-care looks like for her and gives some easy ideas for how to incorporate self-care into your routine.

I was camping at a music festival last fall and walked up to two friends, both teachers, who were talking about how they nurture themselves. It is so easy to feel depleted in a serving profession. These teachers also happen to be moms, so those acts of love and service never end.

After talking, I realized their acts of self-care look a lot like mine.

We choose to rise from bed early, before other family members, and enjoy some contemplation and silence. I create rituals in the morning. I wash my face in cool water, breathe deep, wake, and grace myself with some quiet time. Time for grounding myself in the day.

I write a few words and read a few more. I wrap my hands around a cup of coffee and refrain from picking up my phone or checking messages.

There is time and openness toward my personal intentions for the day and about where I want my sentiments to reside. I prioritize my goals for the day before the distractions begin.

I pause to offer my gratitude.

Many begin the day with a regimen of stretching, yoga, or walking. Any form of moderate exercise can be great care for your body and mind. Exercise gets the endorphins going and stimulates the mind.

Self-care need not be expensive nor luxurious. It can be lighting candles in your home or at your office. It can be savoring every bite of your fruit, every sip of your tea, on the balcony.

I break up my workday by going for a walk at lunch. I get some sun on my face and some added energy flowing through my body.

To nurture ourselves also means going solo to the store. Necessities are in play, but you can treat yourself by making the best of it. I never realized how relaxing grocery shopping could be until I was a mother and provided the opportunity to stroll the aisles alone.

We learn to love time when we can be individuals above all of our other roles as daughters, mothers, employees or employers, wives, and friends.

To wind down at the end of the day, try to treat yourself by soaking in a bath with essential oils or laying down early and listening to a podcast or meditation.

It could mean picking flowers from your garden or reading a book with your feet up.

Women are givers by nature, whether we are mothers not. It is important to refuel and refresh. We must nurture ourselves so that we may nurture others.

Tell us, what rituals do you create around self-care? What is your beauty-way?

Here is my favorite bath ritual:

Light candles and turn down the lights, turn on relaxing music, bring in a vase of flowers if you have them. Fill the tub. I like to use 2-3 scoops or handfuls of Epsom salts or Himalayan pink sea salts and a few drops of lavender essential oil with some flower petals.

Take some time to meditate in the tub as you soak and cleanse yourself. Set some intentions for the rest of your week and think about all of the things you are grateful for. Focus on raising your vibration and releasing all of the stress from the day.

After the soak, wrap yourself up in your favorite robe and slippers and hydrate after the warm bath. Try to practice this self-care ritual once a week.

What Does Self-Care Look Like For You? Read More »

What does non-judgmental support mean?

1 Comment / Birth, Parenting, Self-Care / Alyssa Veneklase / birth support, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, postpartum, postpartum depression, postpartum doulas

Author: Alyssa Veneklase, CD

I was recently asked if, since I’m a doula, I tell clients not to vaccinate and make them feel guilty if they don’t breastfeed.

What??!

If you had a doula that made you feel this way, I apologize on behalf of them. That is the opposite of what a doula is meant to be.

Since there’s obviously still a lot of confusion about the role of a doula, I will try to clear up most of the common misconceptions briefly and simply.

A birth doula is not a midwife. We do not deliver babies; we are there for the physical and emotional support of the mother and even the father.

You do not need to have an all-natural home birth to use a doula. We support women no matter how and where they deliver.

We realize that breastfeeding doesn’t work for every mother and every circumstance. We are there for guidance and support of breastfeeding, pumping, and bottlefeeding (breast milk and formula).

When clients ask us for guidance regarding topics such as vaccines and circumcision, we offer resources, but never tell a client what they should do. We want our clients to make informed and educated decisions, but the decisions are all their own.

Bottom line, a doula is a non-judgmental support person. And by non-judgmental I mean we never judge a mother, father, or family based on the decisions they make.

Ever.

Telling a client not to vaccinate their child would be judging those who do vaccinate.

Telling someone we won’t work with them because they have a scheduled c-section would be outright, in-your-face judgment.

Telling a client that she’s a bad mother because she can’t, or chooses not to, breastfeed is yes, full of judgment.

As a postpartum doula, I am passionate about supporting families, wherever they’re at in their journeys. I serve families who co-sleep for months and those who use a crib from day one. I serve families who breastfeed and those that bottlefeed formula.

I serve mothers who had all-natural deliveries, mothers who delivered early and their baby was in the NICU, and mothers who had scheduled c-sections. I serve families whether they vaccinated or not, circumcised or not.

I serve families where the mother goes back to work full-time after a few weeks, and families where the mother never goes back to work. I serve mothers with postpartum depression and I serve mothers who are the happiest they’ve ever been.

In every single scenario, the client knows I am there for them. I have no agenda of my own. It doesn’t matter what I did with my child or what “most people” do. I want each of my clients to feel confident that they’re making their own informed decisions. And I’m there for them, no matter what the decision is.

What does non-judgmental support mean? Read More »

Birth and Pregnancy Affirmations

Leave a Comment / Birth, Pregnancy, Self-Care / Kristin Revere

I love affirmations! I utilized them daily during my second pregnancy as I had signs of getting pre-eclampsia again. I needed my thoughts to remain positive. In the end, I avoided getting pre-e and had a perfect pregnancy and beautiful birth.
The Sacred Pregnancy book taught me about mantras and affirmations. I would hold my belly daily and repeat that I was healthy and my baby was safe and strong. I told my son that we were a team and would work together during his birth. I said those affirmations aloud several times a day on the recommendation of my doulas and Naturopath.I used affirmations and visualization during my labor. I imagined the women across the world who were giving birth at the same time as me. I pictured my surges as waves that I would ride out one by one. I repeated in my head that each surge would bring me closer to my baby. I also repeated relax, release and open to myself when I was laboring at home before my doulas arrived. Another tool was to tell myself that I loved labor. This was a method that Anni Daulter wrote about in the Sacred Pregnancy book. It worked to view labor as a positive thing by embracing each contraction rather than to fear them. I believe that is why that birth was so quick and easy.

The mind is a powerful thing! As a birth doula, I encourage my client to get out of their heads and surrender to birth. I like to give out the awesome magnets that Tracey Rose of www.hypnobirthingrocks.com makes to my Sacred Pregnancy students as a reminder to reflect whenever they open their refrigerator.

Karlye’s HypnoBirthing students use affirmations in class as well as visualization.

Some of my favorite affirmations for birth are:
• I trust my body to birth my baby.
• Relax, breathe, open!
• I am powerful.
• I am strong.
• Everything is going perfectly.
• There will be no complications.
• My baby is safe.
• My baby will be born at the perfect time.
• My body will open like a rose!

We will be featuring Affirmation Tuesday on our Gold Coast Doulas Facebook page with a new Affirmation Meme each week. We hope you enjoy them!

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5 Quick Makeup Tips for New Mothers

Leave a Comment / Self-Care / Kristin Revere

Gold Coast Doulas is thrilled to present a guest blog from Christina Parrilla of Beauty by Christina. She is a self taught makeup artist and hair stylist. She started her business with the hope of creating incredible experiences for women of all ages, colors, and sizes. She feels that beauty is so much more than just lipstick and curls..beauty is looking in the mirror and having complete confidence in yourself. We were fortunate to have Christina assist at the first Gold Coast Doulas photo shoot. She did Kristin’s hair and makeup. We plan to hire her for future events. All photos are by The People Picture Company.

5 Quick Makeup Tips for New Mothers

Here are some quick tips for all the new moms who now have 10 minutes (or less) to get ready for the day.
Tip 1. Always have a face cream or moisturizer near by. Moisturizers are made for different skin types so make sure to check if the lotion you’re interested in is for dry/oily/or combination skin. I recommend using a day cream in the morning right after washing your face, that way you wake up feeling hydrated and fresh!

Olay Active Hydrating Beauty Fluid Lotion is an extremely affordable product, you can find it at most drug stores or super markets for $9.99 and it’s rated No. 17 on totalbeauty.com’s 18 best face moisturizers. If you don’t mind spending a little more on your lotion, La Roche-Posay Toleriane Fluid Soothing Protective Non-Oily Lotion is rated No.1 and sells for $29.99.

Tip 2. Make sure you are in the correct foundation. Having a good quality foundation is key to healthy-looking, radiant skin. When applying foundation you can use a beauty blender, brush, sponge, or even your finger. A little goes a long way, so always start with a drop and add from there. My favorite foundation at the minute is the NARS All Day Luminous Weightless foundation, it is extremely lightweight and has great coverage. You can find this foundation at Sephora for $48.00. A more affordable alternative is L’Oreals True Match Foundation, also very lightweight and leaves your skin with a natural glow. You can find this product at any drug store or Ulta for only $9.99.

Tip 3. I’m pretty sure that being sleep deprived isn’t helping that under eye area at all. If you suffer from dark circles or under eye bags then concealer will be your best friend. Applying just a few drops will instantly take you from looking exhausted to awake and ready for the day in seconds! You do not want to apply too much though, depending on your skin type concealer might cake up under the eyes. So, just like with your foundation start will just a little and add if you need it. I am currently using Tarte’s Amazonian Clay Waterproof 12-hour Concealer and I love it, however it is pretty thick so be aware of that before purchasing it! This product sells for $23.00 at Sephora. CoverGirls Smoothers Concealer is a great alternative, not as thick but it is creamy and lasts all day. This product you can find at any drug store for under $6.00.

Tip 4. Powder. You will need a good powder to help set your foundation and concealer. If you have oily skin having a powder on top of your liquid foundation will help control shine throughout the day. I prefer to apply my powder with a brush, and I make sure to apply the most around my T-zone area. Mac’s Studio Fix Powder is in my opinion the best powder on the market. I have never had any complaints on how it looks, feels, or the amount of coverage. This product sells for $27.00 and you can find it on-line, at Macy’s, or any MAC store. E.L.F’s Studio Translucent Matifying Powder is a top-rated beauty product on totalbeauty.com for having a soft, non-caky, natural finish and is only $3.00.

Tip 5. If you want an instant pop, mascara definitely does the trick! Even if you do not apply any eye shadow, adding mascara to your lashes can dramatically change your eyes. Mascara makes your eyes look bigger and brighter, and gives your lashes a nice dark curl. Make sure to apply mascara to the top and bottom lashes for a bolder fuller look. My all time favorite mascara is Grandiose by Lancome, I have never had a mascara that makes my lashes look so full and long! It even has rose extract in the formula to help strengthen your lashes over time. This product costs $32.00, and even though it is pricey I promise it’s worth every penny! Maybelline’s Great Lash Volumize mascara is a favorite among pro makeup artists. Minimal clumping along with great volume makes this mascara a top pic, you can find it almost anywhere for only $5.00.

These are the products I use on a daily basis to achieve an easy natural look. It takes me about ten minutes to apply everything and walk out the door. For new moms, even though makeup will probably be the last thing on your mind these are 5 products that will save you an incredible amount of time when you want to look simple but just a little more done up. Now if for whatever reason you have more than 10 minutes to get ready, don’t forget to throw on you favorite lipstick too! Good luck!

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Getting To Know Your Pelvic Floor

Leave a Comment / Self-Care / Kristin Revere / pelvic floor, postpartum recovery

We are pleased to present a guest blog by Melissa VanKampen, PTA. Melissa has been working in the field of physical therapy for 18 years with the last 8 focusing on pelvic health in particular. She works for Northern Physical Therapy in Coopersville, MI. though Northern has six locations with several of them offering pelvic health therapy. If you have any questions or concerns regarding YOUR pelvic health please feel free to contact Melissa at melissavankampen at http://www.northernpts.com or 616.997.6172.

We have all heard the term “pelvic floor” especially in the last 5 years, everyone from Good Housekeeping to Cosmo has an opinion on what to do with it, what it should look like and what is “normal”. Most women don’t find it an easy subject to address even with friends let alone their health professional. When they do muster the courage to bring it up, they are told it is normal or it is just something they have to live with. So let’s find out what your pelvic floor really is and does for you.

What is your pelvic floor? It is a group of muscles that connect from your tailbone to your pubic bone with many fascial attachments. It has 3 muscle layers that have distinct functions and plays a role in everything you do throughout a day.

The pelvic floor has 3 basic functions:
Organ support: It is the bottom end of the canister that forms your “core” with your diaphragm being the top and the abdominals forming the body of the can. These muscles working together keep your intestines, bladder, and uterus where they should be in your body. Symptoms of heaviness, pressure , aching in your pelvis, or the feeling that something is “falling out” signal that those muscle may not be working as well as they should be.

Continence: If you are leaking urine at times or in places that you don’t want to be, you probably have some form of INcontinence. This is not a normal process of aging or childbirth. You may also experience fecal incontinence. This is often because the muscles are not strong enough to hold against gravity or they may be experiencing another kind of dysfunction. Other signs of dysfunction are the feeling of having to urinate all the time, or not feeling that you empty your bladder when you go.

Sexual appreciation: the ability to experience arousal, intercourse and orgasm. Pain with intercourse is a sign that the pelvic floor muscles may be spasmed or you may have some scar tissue from a surgical procedure.

All of these functions can be affected by diet, lifestyle, childbirth, surgical procedures, hormonal changes, disease processes , or biomechanical dysfunctions. A trained pelvic therapist will go through a thorough history to determine what the cause of your symptoms may be. They will then develop a custom treatment to restore balance back to your body. That is why it is so important to begin a conversation with a health care professional such as your doctor or pelvic health trained physical therapist to address how they can help you with your specific needs. Trust your instincts, you know what is “right” for your body.

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