Right when you get your child on a good schedule something inevitably comes up that makes it difficult to stay on track. We just went through the dreaded daylight savings (the worst for adults too!). Right now we are in the midst of the holidays. Here are some sleep tips for keeping your children’s sleep schedules on track.
If you’re traveling and driving, try to time the car rides over nap times. For instance, if you have a three hour drive and you know little Johnny takes his afternoon nap from 12:30 – 2:30, hit the road at noon and do some singing or stimulate him for a while until he gets drowsy and falls asleep. Then when you are almost there, he should wake up!
If you are flying, naps can be tricky. If you have a baby, holding the baby to sleep usually works. But if you have an 18 month old, you might have to prepare yourself for a no nap situation that day. In this instance, be sure to get them down to bed a bit early that night.
What if you’re traveling somewhere with a time change? Ugh..every parent dreads this no matter the age of your child. If you’re only going for a couple days, keep the child on their normal schedule. That means if they go to bed at 7pm and there’s a 2 hour difference, you put them to bed at 5pm. I know this messes up party plans but you’ll have to think ahead. Bring a pack and play for your baby or a blow up mattress for your older child and put them to bed in a dark room with a sound machine at their normal bed time.
If you’re traveling and staying for an extended period of time, slowly move their bedtime back in 30 minute increments until they’re at a more reasonable bedtime. Then before you leave to go back home, move that bedtime back to the normal time slowly. If you wait to move the bedtime back until you’re home, just know that you’ll have 2-3 days of adjusting to deal with.
If you’re hosting a party in the afternoon during a normal nap time, let everyone know that your child will be sleeping. Don’t let them stay up just because Grandma wants to cuddle. They will have to wait until your child wakes up. During a party, that sound machine may need to be turned up a bit louder than normal.
Remember that sleep is a priority and stand firm when a friend or relative says, “Oh, just let him stay up.” Easy for them to say!
Ever wondered about all those meal delivery services? Are they worth the money? Will they save you time and money? Today we talk to Carrie, a client who uses a local meal delivery service, and Genevieve, the owner of Life Fuel. You can listen to this complete podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud.
Alyssa: Hello, welcome to Ask the Doulas. I’m Alyssa, and I am going to be talking with a couple lovely ladies today, Carrie and Genevieve. Hello, ladies.
Carrie: Hello!
Genevieve: Hello!
Alyssa: Carrie was on before because she is a client of ours who used us for birth and postpartum services, and then Genevieve is the owner of Life Fuel, who we’ve also had on before because we partner with you and your delicious, healthy meals. So it just so happened that you and I were talking about another podcast, and you said, “I think one of my clients happens to be one of your clients,” so it just works perfectly to have Carrie here. So I wanted to talk about, as a new mom, how has a meal delivery service helped you?
Carrie: Oh, it makes life a lot easier, and I used Life Fuel before I got pregnant, so I was familiar with their meals. But when you’re a new parent, you don’t have much time for cooking. I love to cook, but right now, it’s just my husband and myself and our daughter, but it’s really hard cooking for two adults. So that’s kind of why I initially started using Life Fuel because I would waste so much food just cooking for two people, plus all the time shopping and coming up with meals. And I’m a really bad freezer, where if I put something in the freezer, I know I’m going to forget it, and my husband doesn’t like freezer meals. Having Life Fuel, I could just pull it out, and if my husband would text me at 5:30 to ask what’s the dinner plan, I can be like, oh, we have this and this! Let me look!
Alyssa: It’s like a menu. I have my own menu in my refrigerator.
Carrie: And he’s like, oh, it all sounds good! I’m like, okay, well, I’m going to go with what I feel like having tonight. But it just made life so much easier. Then, after having our daughter, you really don’t have much time, and you’re sleep-deprived. If you don’t have time to cook, it kind of takes the joy out of cooking, and it’s more of just a chore. And I never want cooking to be a chore. I’ve used one other program in the Grand Rapids area, and what I like about Genevieve’s is that she all the nutritional information on there, so I know how healthy it is or how healthy it isn’t. Usually, they’re very healthy. Sometimes I want something that’s not so healthy; that’s when I order pizza or I make a grilled cheese sandwich or something like that. But also, it’s a complete meal. You’re not having just the entrée portion and then you have to figure out the sides. You’re getting a full meal there, and sometimes the portion sizes are — I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but they’re big, so a lot of times, Mark and I can split the portions, and then we have lunch for the next day. But really, it was the — you tend to think, oh, my gosh, I can’t afford meal delivery, but no, that was the biggest reason why I chose Life Fuel too was because it was saving me money. I was wasting less, and it was a value.
Alyssa: That’s exactly how I felt, too. I looked at these and went, okay, for me to make a meal like this, I’m going to spend so much, because we have a family of three as well. I’m wasting so much food just to buy all this extra stuff that I only need for two, so then I’m going to have to make this meal, like, three times to use all the stuff I bought, and we don’t want to eat it three times in a week. And cooking just became a chore for me, like you. I used to love it, but I don’t have time and I dread it now. So coming home and just saying, these are my choices. Like, today for lunch before I came here, I was like, what do I have? Oh, beef Asian lettuce wraps? Done! That’s my lunch, and it’s delicious.
Carrie: I think we’re going to have that for dinner tonight!
Alyssa: And some of them are — depending on the meals, some of them have been big enough that my husband and I can split them. Awesome! Or I’ll eat half for lunch and then half for lunch the next day. Some of them, I can totally gobble it all up in one meal.
Genevieve: Actually, our nutritionist David, who’s been on your podcast before, has two young sons, so a lot of times they’ll be getting home kind of late, and he’ll just split a meal for his two sons and just say, “That’s your meal.” It’s not technically a kid food, but a lot of it, his kids will eat, and it makes it super easy so they’re not starving while you’re trying to prepare something. It can be used a lot of different ways.
Alyssa: Yeah, it would be perfect for two kids, and I think the difference, too, like you said, between this meal delivery service and another, is that I don’t have time to prep it. Some of them, you just get ingredients and you have to cook it yourself. I don’t have time. This is already done. I just have to heat it up. Sometimes, I don’t even heat it up. Today with the lettuce wraps, I put the cold beef in the cold lettuce and dumped the sauce on, and it was delicious. I didn’t even have to heat it.
Carrie: I’ve never tried some of the bigger companies like Blue Apron, but one thing I like is that I can email Genevieve, and you respond so quickly. So if there are any questions, you get it figured out really quick, and I don’t think you would get that with some of the bigger companies.
Genevieve: Yeah, and that’s part of the reason. We want to stay local to West Michigan. A lot of people have asked us why we don’t ship through the mail, and that’s just not the vision for our company. We want to know our customers and know their preferences and be able to adjust based on what people are asking for, and I think staying here and just staying local will really help us do that.
Carrie: I think in my Notes section for you, I have that my husband hates eggplant.
Genevieve: Yes, you do!
Carrie: But I always order ala carte because I like looking at the different meals.
Genevieve: Yeah, because you’ve gotten the eggplant lasagna a couple of times, I think.
Carrie: Yeah, and I think it’s maybe vegan eggplant lasagna, and Mark was like, this is the most disgusting thing ever!
Genevieve: I had a feeling that meal was just for you!
Carrie: Yep!
Alyssa: There have definitely been a couple my husband says no thanks to, and I’m all about it.
Genevieve: I think the word “vegan” in general kind of scares males. Like, you’ve had vegetables before, right?
Alyssa: There’s just not a big slab of meat in it, so they don’t want it, right? And I love that you have gluten-free and vegan and paleo options, because I can just look at that right away, like the pancakes that just came, and I know right away that we can have just by looking at the ingredients.
Genevieve: And Carrie, I love what you said about less waste because I think that’s something people don’t think about when they’re doing their own meal prep or meal planning. You end up going to the grocery store, and maybe you’re spending a little bit less than what you would spend on our meals, but are you utilizing all those ingredients? Are they making complete meals for you? Or are you ending up with a lot of leftover things that you don’t know what to do with?
Alyssa: I think I would be spending more at the store.
Carrie: I would be spending more, yeah.
Genevieve: Well, you’re also being exposed to maybe a lot of things that you shouldn’t be buying when you’re at the grocery store.
Alyssa: But then the fact that, like you said, it’s complete. You have the fiber; you have the protein; you have the vegetables. You have everything in there! I literally don’t have time, if I’m making a meal myself, and I thaw some meat and then I’m like, oh, shoot, I also need to think about all the things I need with this meat. I just don’t have the time and energy. So it’s just done for me, and it tastes good and I don’t have to think about it. Genevieve, where can we find you?
Genevieve: You can find us at our website and sign up for meals there.
Alyssa: And I know I’ve asked you before, but why are you called Life Fuel by Vault?
Genevieve: We are a sister company of Vault Catering, which is also here in town.
Alyssa: Gotcha. And then we have coupons for new subscribers, too, right?
Genevieve: Yes! I can just give the promo code right now!
Alyssa: Sure! Tell us the code!
Genevieve: You can get 20% off your first order by using the promo code FUEL20.
Alyssa: Perfect! And you don’t have to have a subscription, right? You can go on and buy one meal on one day, or buy ten meals at once?
Genevieve: Yeah, and our menu changes frequently, so a lot of people like to go on and peruse the different menu items and figure out what they’re going to want to eat that meat, so that’s totally an option.
Alyssa: I need to get better at that. I haven’t looked at the menus as much.
Genevieve: Yeah, it’s a little bit more challenging when you’re a subscription customer because you have to reference back the menu for the week, but it’s totally possible to log in there and switch out the meals, and you can also pause a week, too, if you’re going to be out of town or something.
Alyssa: Which I’ve done, and that’s great. Anything else you want to say about the meal plans?
Carrie: Well, just for your customers, what’s your radius that you ship to?
Genevieve: We go all the way to Muskegon, so we do the Lakeshore, Grand Haven. We do Kent County, Ottawa County, and Muskegon County right now.
Alyssa: And you deliver on Tuesday and Wednesdays now?
One of our clients describes her pregnancy, labor, and delivery and how having birth and postpartum doula support saved her sanity. You can listen to this complete podcast on iTunes or SoundCloud.
Alyssa: Hello! Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa, and I’m super excited to be talking to one of our clients, Carrie, today. I feel like I known you. We’ve been emailing back and forth forever, and I finally get to see you and hug you today.
Carrie: I know, it’s nice to meet you!
Alyssa: Welcome! So you have used a few of our services, and I kind of want to hear your story from start to finish with as much or as little as you want to tell us. So you find out you’re pregnant, and then what?
Carrie: Well, and just a quick background about me, too: I was a late bloomer. I got married at 38, and Mark and I talked about having kids, but it wasn’t a priority. We loved to travel, and I was focused on my career; he was focused on his career. If it happened, great; if not, we were okay with that. And a couple years later, I was almost 40 and it happened.
Alyssa: So you weren’t necessarily planning it, but not preventing it, either?
Carrie: No, exactly, but we kind of figured with my age, I was a higher risk, and I kind of figured it just wasn’t going to happen for us. But then it did, and now, of course, we can’t imagine our life without our daughter in it, now that she’s actually here. But at the time, you know, we had other priorities. So now we’re pregnant. We’re like, oh, my gosh, what the hell do we do? We had all these array of emotions come over us, like our life is going to change forever. And we bought all the books that we were supposed to buy, and we started reading. And that’s where I came across the term doula. I had never heard of a doula before. So I do what anybody does nowadays, and I go to Google. I’m, like, what is this doula that they keep talking about?
Alyssa: Do we have any in Grand Rapids?!
Carrie: I know, it’s kind of a small town, but there were actually a couple companies that led me to you guys, and Gold Coast had rave reviews I started reading. Mark and I don’t have much support. Our parents are older, as we’re older, and our siblings live far away, so we didn’t have many friends or family that could or would want to be there to support us through this process. That’s what led us to make the decision, and we kind of did it late in the game, too. I forget how many weeks along I was, but I was due in early August, and I think we reached out to Gold Coast right around early July, so very late in the process.
Alyssa: You make me want to look it up right now and see, but yeah, I think you were 35 weeks or so; pretty far along.
Carrie: Yeah, it was kind of late. So apparently, I didn’t read these books soon enough, but it was the best decision I made, especially with just not having that support from family. The doulas were amazing. They didn’t judge, and they gave their honest opinions on their experiences and what they saw, but they weren’t biased. So at that early stage in the pregnancy, we were able to build that relationship, and we had made the decision to do the birth doula and postpartum doula. I love Mark, but he’s not female and he’s not given birth. He said, “I think I could handle this all by myself,” and I’m like, no. No, he couldn’t have. So I was really glad we went through the birth with the birth doula and the postpartum doula. Before the labor portion, we had a text chain going on, so I was able to text Julie and Tricia and just ask any question. It could be as dumb as it sounded or just very simple questions.
Alyssa: First-time moms have a ton of questions, and you can’t call your OB five times a day.
Carrie: Right, so I was able to text them, and they got right back to me. But that just started the relationship-building, and I think that was the biggest thing, just having a relationship, because they’re embarking on this incredible journey of yours, and it’s a very private journey, but we’re asking them to join us. And that initial correspondence between them just helped build that bridge of feeling secure with the person that you’re with. Then to jump forward to the labor portion — you have to be open, you know? You have the doula there, and she’s just helping you as much as she can, but she also offered the privacy that we wanted, too. We had to make some decisions, and Tricia was our birth doula, and she gave us the privacy that we needed to make those difficult decisions, if we were going to have a C-section or are going to continue to try to do it naturally. But she was there when we needed her, too, so it was such a good experience. If I were to do it again — and I think we might be one and done — but I can’t imagine not having a doula with us for that part of it.
Alyssa: What was Mark’s experience, since he was thinking, going into it, “I can do this; I got you, honey. You only need me.” After actually experiencing this and having a doula, what does he think?
Carrie: He sat on the couch, so…
Alyssa: Watching the game on his phone.
Carrie: Yeah, he was watching the game. Both games! But no, he did great. He supported me how he could, but he realized that he couldn’t support me the way that a doula could, and there’s just certain things that Tricia knew, like different things to try that might help the process, that Mark wouldn’t have had a clue. And it’s nothing against a male, but they can’t carry a baby. So if we did have another child, I think he would be all for it.
Alyssa: He’d be on board right away this time?
Carrie: Yeah, yeah. And then that leads us into the postpartum, and for me, that service was invaluable. I don’t know what I would do without having some help. The first month was more like they helped me survive. I’m not working right now, and I wanted to make sure my husband was able to sleep because somebody’s got to bring home the bacon. And so I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t up all night like I was, but I would look at my Fitbit, and I thought, oh, my gosh. I am not getting any sleep at all!
Alyssa: Getting a lot of steps, but no sleep!
Carrie: I know! Like, okay, moms are not joking! This is reality, what you go through the first month of having a newborn. Some nights, if I got more than 30 minutes of sleep a night, that was good. Or just at one time, in one chunk. My average was maybe three hours or so. But your body just adjusts to it, so you do what you need to do, but without having the doulas, it would have been rough. And I think they started out maybe around ten hours or maybe a little bit more right at first. Now my daughter is three months, and we still have the doulas. We made a decision, and for my sanity, we still have the doulas coming about ten hours a week. So it went from survival to now giving me part of my life back, but it’s giving me a break now.
Alyssa: You went from survival mode to thriving; surviving to thriving.
Carrie: Yeah, and our daughter loves the doulas. She’s so happy. It’s almost been such a process of they get to grow with her. The babies grow. I didn’t know; they grow a lot between newborns and three months, and she’s so big now, and she’s giggling. So the doulas get to see that and be a part of her life.
Alyssa: They will be so sad when you’re done. They will be so sad. That’s the hardest part of being a postpartum doulas is being with a family for that long, especially with you, because they were with you through pregnancy, labor, delivery, and now months postpartum. Usually, those relationships don’t just abruptly end. We’ll still have contact somehow.
Carrie: Well, and another thing I wanted to comment, too, that compared to just a babysitter or getting some external help, the doulas are so reliable. I know Julie, if she’s supposed to be there at 2:00, it’s 2:00. She is rolling in at 1:59.
Alyssa: You know something’s wrong if she’s not there at 2:00.
Carrie: Yeah, she’s very punctual. So a few weeks ago — I think our daughter was ten weeks at this point, and I was having some issues going on, and I thought it was just food poisoning, and like a typical female, I just put it off, like, oh, it’s going to be fine, you know, hide the pain. And after day three, I’m like, okay, something’s not right. I can barely stand up. So I went to urgent care, and I had appendicitis. The doctor at urgent care said I had to go straight to the ER, and I asked if they were going to do surgery right now, and he’s like, yep! So I call Mark, and we don’t know what we’re going to do because we don’t have the help and it’s Sunday. We try not to bother the doulas on the weekend, but Mark called the doulas, and within an hour, they were at the house. With them working as a team, usually either Julie or Tricia can always make it, and they were a lifesaver. So my biggest advice for anybody that is deciding if a doula is worth it — if you have the financial means to do both the birth, and the postpartum, do it if you can. It’s a game changer, and if they don’t have the financial means to do both, the postpartum for me probably was the biggest help. I mean, if I had to choose. I wouldn’t want to choose, but if I had to choose, I would choose just having postpartum help.
Alyssa: I agree, because even if you wouldn’t have had the support through pregnancy and birth, and let’s say you had this traumatic experience, having a postpartum doula to then talk to you about that and go through the emotions of that and talk about the traumatic story — you’d still get all that emotional help afterwards.
Carrie: Yeah, the baby’s here, no matter what.
Alyssa: Right, and as we see depression rates and anxiety rates climbing, especially with new mothers, postpartum support is critical. That’s where my heart is, so I agree with you.
Carrie: It was interested because I’ve been given the depression surveys every time I go in, even to take my daughter to the doctor. I always get a survey. Luckily, I’ve been fine, but the only time I ever got a little depressed was after this second surgery because I was starting to finally bounce back and get back into my groove. I wasn’t working out like I used to be working out before, but I was getting my life back, and then I had this, another setback. And then that’s kind of when I got sad, but luckily, I bounced back really quickly, and it wasn’t bad for me. But I can see how easy it is to get into spaces that are darker than you want to be in.
Alyssa: Without even realizing it’s happening, sometimes.
Carrie: Yeah, absolutely.
Alyssa: You just wake up and there you are, and how do I get myself out if I have no support?
Carrie: Yes. And the doulas are always so positive.
Alyssa: You have an amazing team. Julie and Tricia are so wonderful.
Carrie: They are, they are. We share so many pictures back and forth, and I even — sadly, I shared — it had been 12 days since our daughter had had a bowel movement, and…
Alyssa: Did you send a poop picture?
Carrie: I did! She did it while we were at our friend’s house in the middle of dinner, and they had cooked this nice dinner for us.
Alyssa: Of course!
Carrie: And she was kind of fussy and she wasn’t crying, and Mark grabbed her, and he said, “Oh, she’s kind of sweaty.” And then he’s like, “That’s not sweat!”
Alyssa: Everywhere, right?
Carrie: Twelve days of backed-up!
Alyssa: That’s what I tell clients. You know, if they go a few days, it’s not good, but I mean, it can happen, but I just warn you — watch out. It’s all coming out.
Carrie: I was holding off on all the Miralax until after we didn’t have any plans, but no, she let it go.
Alyssa: She got it out!
Carrie: Yeah, she did!
Alyssa: So what’s been the biggest joy of being a new mom?
Carrie: Now that she’s kind of getting past the big blog phase, now she’s starting to laugh and make squealing noises now, so it’s very interesting watching them. Every time they learn to do something new, they keep doing it. So that’s the biggest joy, I feel like, just watching her learn. We’re just showing her the world right now, and it’s pretty cool. Just seeing her learn and making all sorts of new noises and her eyes and having her look at you and just smile.
Alyssa: She knows that you’re Mommy.
Carrie: Yeah, yeah! It just makes you tear up. And then also seeing my husband. You never know how a guy is going to handle that new baby, and he doesn’t know, but seeing how Mark was transformed, and he’s just this doting dad now, and he is so in love. And he was probably more in love because he was taking care of her because I had a C-section, so he had to take care of the dirty diapers right at first and do a lot of it. Seeing him just mold to being Dad right away was breathtaking, and it was such an awesome experience.
Alyssa: It is fun to see dads turn to mush when they meet their babies. So if you had to choose — we’ve talked a lot about postpartum support, but if you had to choose one thing that you wanted to tell a mother — let’s say they could only afford a birth doula. What’s the main thing? Would it be for you or for your husband? Who was it most life-changing for?
Carrie: It was more life-changing, I feel like, for me, because I was the one going through the labor. Once the nurses knew I had a doula — and the nurses were great, but they have so many other patients that they’re also visiting at that time, too, so they were able to kind of back off me and let Tricia help, and she was able to just understand what my body was going through, because I didn’t know what I was going through at the time. She was able to see the contractions that I was having on the monitor and say, okay, you’re starting a contraction right now. And my husband wouldn’t have been able to go through that with me. He was so green and didn’t know. But she was also able to put me in different positions, and then also let me know what my options were. I was at five centimeters for, like, twelve hours. And I just wasn’t moving, so it was nice getting Tricia’s point of view of, okay, what would be the best avenue to go down? Through the whole process, she just really helped me, as a doctor or a nurse would, even though she’s not medically trained. But I was a hundred percent comfortable with her.
Alyssa: So she would offer you some suggestions, and then let you and Mark talk that through and see what would be the best option?
Carrie: Yeah, she had been through so many different births, and every birth is different, but she was able to just give me advice on what she had seen and what she had also gone through, and she had twins. So she’s been through a lot, and she also has an older son, too, so she’s been through labor two times, but technically three times because she has three kids. So she has a lot of advice, and I always learn from people that have been through the situation before. So it was nice having her feedback.
Alyssa: And it was never, like you said, a judgment. You didn’t ever feel like she was telling you this is what you need to do or this is what you have to do?
Carrie: Absolutely not. And when it was time for Mark and I to make the decision or just talk about it, we just asked Tricia to go get coffee, and we talked about it. But it was nice having her feedback or her suggestions on different avenues we could take. Not that we didn’t trust the doctors and the nurses, but we had a relationship with Tricia.
Alyssa: So if you had to tell someone in a nutshell, what does a birth doula do? Like, if you had to give an elevator speech for someone, even after listening to this, if someone’s still like, well, hmm? So they just sit there and give you advice? What do they do? What would you tell somebody? You just find out you’re pregnant; you don’t know what a doula is. What does a birth doula do?
Carrie: So the birth doula made the experience a positive one, and whether that was by giving a massage or just helping with breathing and different positions to help make it more comfortable to give birth. I did have an epidural at one point, so I didn’t do it naturally, and ultimately, I had a C-section, but Tricia was able to put me in different positions to make that pain easier, before the epidural. It’s kind of all mush now, the memories of the actual birth, but I do know that Tricia was there for every step of it. She was such an integral part of it. It was almost like we were one. She just helped with the pain, even though she wasn’t giving me drugs, but she helped make things a lot easier. For a birth doula, it just meant, for me, an easier pregnancy, to deal with the unknown that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.
Alyssa: And then what about finding out you have a C-section?
Carrie: I just wanted that thing out!
Alyssa: Right! People often wonder, well, what is a birth doula going to do if you have a C-section, and they don’t think about that immediately afterwards time period. Who’s there?
Carrie: Yeah, good question, because she was actually also a lifesaver for the cord blood donation. We decided to do that because our doctor had mentioned that they are just making a lot of advancements on what they can use the cord blood for down the road, even helping with autism and different things. So we decided that we wanted to store the cord blood. But there’s a procedure that not all the nurses knew what to do, and our birth doula, Tricia, was able to take that in her hands. She wanted to make sure that everything was handled properly and got where it needed to go. So when we actually got out of recovery from the C-section — the C-section happened really quickly, and it wasn’t an emergency, but our doctor gave us an option. She said we can do this, and Mark and I talked about it for probably less than five minutes. We were like, it’s been twelve hours. Let’s do this. So we went in, and before you know it…
Alyssa: There’s a crying baby!
Carrie: There’s our daughter! But then the cord blood — that went back to recovery, and as far as I know, Tricia helped to orchestrate that whole process, making that happen. She was a lifesaver on that end because then we would have just wasted our money. She was able to come back in recovery, and it was so nice having her meet our daughter. And then I told her to get home because she had been awake for I don’t know how many hours. It was 1:00 in the morning, and I think she joined us at 11:00 AM. So it was a very long day.
Alyssa: Like, 14 hours or something?
Carrie: Yeah, it was a long day for her. So I told her to go home, and then I went back to the room.
Alyssa: Thank you for sharing. I know that they just adore your family and they’re going to be so sad when this time ends, but our jobs as doulas are temporary. We know that going in.
Carrie: It’s hard. I don’t know how you guys do it. It’s kind of like fostering an animal.
Alyssa: Right?
Carrie: I don’t know how people just let them go.
Alyssa: I know, you make these connections. But Grand Rapids is small, and I’m sure that relationship won’t doesn’t end, like I said before. They’ll be in touch for a long time. And then if you do get pregnant again, who knows, right?
Carrie: I know who to call!
Alyssa: Well, thanks for coming on! We’re going to have you on again another time to talk about a whole different issue, but thanks for joining us today!
Today Katie Kimball of Kitchen Stewardship and Kids Cook Real Food tells us how to start our babies and get our toddlers eating healthy food. Don’t forget her free download – 10 Snacks your Preschooler Can Make Today! You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or SoundCloud.
Alyssa: Hello! Welcome to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa Veneklase, co-owner and postpartum doula. And today we’re talking to Katie Kimball again of Kitchen Stewardship. Hi, Katie.
Katie: Hey, Alyssa. Thanks for having me!
Alyssa: Yeah! So we are going to talk today – we talked to you last time about having kids in the kitchen, but we want to kind of shift gears and talk about how to get good eating habits started early for our kids and then get some tips from you on how to do it, especially through those toddler years when they seem to be picky and hate everything you put in front of them. How do you deal with that?
Katie: Yes, we can do this!
Alyssa: I guess where would you tell a parent to start?
Katie: Well, so the big word that I’ve picked up – I have 4 kids, and so I’ve been a mom for 13 years; kind of been around the block with this. And I was so stressed about feeding my child when my first was a baby. I remember nearly karate-chopping my husband’s uncle in the arm because he had some Cool-Whip on his finger and was going to offer it to my seven-month-old. I was like, “No! You can’t! No!” Right, that was going to literally kill him. I’m not a fan of Cool-Whip, but I could have chilled out a little more. I did a great, really informative to me, interview with a naturopath who specializes in kids’ nutrition a few years back, and she said, actually, the most current research shows that it’s the most important for kids’ palettes and mouths and bodies to be exposed to the widest variety of foods possible, even before six months, even before seven months, like when we’re usually starting to feed at six months. So just allowing them to smell or just have little licks, little tastes, of everything you’re eating. It’s almost like an inoculation. It’s almost like an inoculation to the world where they’ll be less likely to get allergies. And here, again, 13 years ago when my youngest was a baby, we were told do NOT give them any highly-allergenic foods until after one; you know, no peanuts until after two. So we do what we can with what we know, but that’s the most current research, actually, is that we just kind of need to expose them to all sorts of foods, and even up until 12 months, the function of the sitting-up kind of eating with a spoon or on a high chair tray is mostly just exposure and exploration. And so that takes a lot of pressure off Mom. It’s not about calories. It’s not about nutrition. They’re getting that from the breastmilk or formula they’re drinking.
Alyssa: Right. Yeah, I love the word “exploration” because, you know, around that four- to six-month mark, that’s really all they’re doing is exploring, and my daughter, before she wanted to eat solid foods, would lick, you know. I would give her little tastes of soup or whatever it was off my finger, and she would love it. And that’s such a great tip for parents with babies. Just let them try it. See what happens. They’re not chewing. They’re not going to choke.
Katie: Yeah. So I’m not a huge proponent of baby food, especially the cereal, because there isn’t much nourishment in that, so why are we pushing it so hard? But really just putting little mushy things or finger-food things on the tray and letting them explore. As long as everything is whole foods, I don’t think you can go wrong. Now, no added sugars, of course, right? We don’t want any food coloring, you know. But if it’s little pieces of avocado and little pieces of ground beef or a bean, you know, a little black bean that you mush under your thumb so that it’s not too round. There’s so many soft foods that are just soft or that you can cook to be soft and the kids can just explore. So that’s kind of a nice load off of a mom’s mind that, chill. Chill is the word of the day when it comes to feeding your babies.
Alyssa: So what do you do, then, when it’s like, oh, I’ve done such a great job; my kid will eat anything – and then they turn two, and what the heck happened?
Katie: Oh, my gosh. It happens to almost every family, and the good news is it’s completely developmentally appropriate because at age two to three, the kids are realizing that they’re separate from their parents, and, oh my goodness, they have opinions, you know, and they’re really testing their boundaries. So they’re trying to figure out where my will ends and where my parents’ begins. So they’re going to test that in every way they can, but especially when it comes to eating, sleeping, and pooping, because those are the things we cannot force them to do.
Alyssa: Right, right.
Katie: No matter how hard we try, much to parents’ chagrin. And so again, the good news is you’re really going to have to chill and realize that it’s normal, totally normal for them to say no to something they used to like, even if they liked it yesterday. They may say no to it today. They might like it again tomorrow. And so I often tell parents who are in that phase, that picky eating phase from two to five, that you just have to be more stubborn and more persistent than your child until they turn six-ish.
Alyssa: Yeah, my daughter just did that to me the other day. She’s five, and she has loved avocados and guacamole for years, and then all of a sudden, she didn’t. Then she told me last week, “Mommy, I decided I like avocados again.”
Katie: It is tough, and I think the risk is if we give in, if we’re like, “Oh, she doesn’t like avocados or guacamole anymore, so I just won’t serve it ever.” Well, then she probably never would have come back around to it, or the chances would be slim. So our job as parents is just to continue to serve good, healthy foods. Obviously, you have to be eating good, healthy foods, but serving whole foods and a variety of fruits and vegetables and protein sources and expecting that they will change over time. I think in America, especially, unfortunately, we fall into this terrible rut of feeding kids what they like and then complaining that they’re not eating better. And it’s like, well, that’s because your expectations are this teeny-tiny box of what they like, and they’re not going to push out of that. So we’ve got to raise our expectations and realize, you know, that our 20-something year old child’s palette is not going to be the same as our 3-year-old’s, and so we’re just going to continue to offer good things and feed them good things, and they can choose how much they eat and when they eat, as long as we’re not letting them feast on junk food outside of meals. We can win. We can win after they’re in, like, first grade. They come around to all the green things.
Alyssa: Yeah, that’s good. It gives us hope, right?
Katie: Yes!
Alyssa: And it’s funny that you say “in America” because every time I go to a restaurant and you look at the kids’ menu, there’s always the same five options. It’s mac and cheese. It’s a hot dog. It’s a hamburger. It’s a cheeseburger. You know, and it’s all unhealthy. They don’t have any good options, so I end up having to split, like order one healthy meal and split it with my daughter, and it is really frustrating when you’re trying to have your children eat healthy, but there’s no healthy options on a kids’ menu.
Katie: Yes, it’s counter-cultural to feed our kids vegetables, so we have to be really ready, like we would anything for our kids, right? Ready to be the mama bear and put up the fight.
Alyssa: Right, right. And I have to ask all the time, “Do you have any vegetables that I could add instead of fries?” And they’ll look at me, like, well, what kind of vegetables? Anything!
Katie: It’s getting better. I have to say, the pendulum is swinging in the right direction, and it’s very exciting to watch and to push it as hard as I can.
Alyssa: Well, you have created a PDF for us to help parents who maybe have had trouble with the process of getting their kids to eat healthy foods, and it’s 10 Snacks Your Preschooler Can Make Today. Tell us where can we find it and what’s on this, and maybe a couple of the ten snacks that are on there?
Katie: Sure thing. Well, you can download that for free. And the idea here is that one way to get kids to eat better – because, again, they’re testing those boundaries – one way to get those young preschoolers to eat better is to get them involved because when they get involved, whether it’s growing food, choosing it at the grocery store or farmer’s market, planning a meal, preparing a meal, serving a meal – any involvement in any way helps them to feel connected to that food and they’re much, much more likely to try it joyfully or at least be open and having a better attitude at the meal. So we want to get those kids in the kitchen, you know, using tools, and so we teach them simple things like using a butter knife to slice bananas or make ants on a log and different ways to slice cheese. There’s actually a homemade gelatin in there that uses 100% grape juice, which is still not health food, but it’s way better than Jello from the box. And it’s really fun. It’s a really fun activity for kids to make with an adult. So some of the recipes in there are things a three-year-old could do pretty much start to finish, and then some are kind of a half-and-half, like a fun thing for a kid to do with a parent.
Alyssa: Yeah, I think that’s a great tool. You know, kids that age love to be involved, but in a sense, they’re kind of followers. They like to do what their friends are doing. They want to do what you’re doing, and if they know that you’re cooking and they’ve helped, they see that as something that they want to take part in, and they will probably eat it or at least try it, right? They’re more likely to try it.
Katie: Yeah, it totally increases your chances, and the pickier a child is – and some kids really have some processing issues where food maybe tastes so bold and vibrant to them that any new food is nearly terrifying because they’re afraid that it will overwhelm their senses, and that’s becoming more and more common, and it’s okay. We can work within what our kids’ bodies are telling us, and it’s still, even with sensory processing disorder, the goal is still continual exposure. So a normal kid might need two or three or ten exposures to, let’s say, broccoli. A kid who’s processing the senses a little different might need 50 or 100. It’s a little bit a longer game with them, and you have to be really patient. And that’s not every kid. That’s just the ones that are so picky. Their tags are itchy. They don’t like any spicy foods, or maybe they like only really spicy foods. This is kind of a segue, but the ones who are saying my kid is way pickier than that – it’s still the same process; it’s just a long time and continuing to be patient and expose them.
Alyssa: Yeah, it’s a lot of patience for the parents then.
Katie: Yes.
Alyssa: Again, a daily struggle, right?
Katie: Yes!
Alyssa: Is there anything that we didn’t mention about tips for our toddlers?
Katie: Be consistent; keep the sugar out. Actually, the grandma training is something I like to talk to parents about. It’s not only grandmas, but some other adults in our lives, and sometimes us, too; we just want to love our kids through suckers and popsicles, and so it’s been my mission in life to train the grandma in our life who tries to do that that it’s not depriving a child if they don’t know what it is.
Alyssa: Right!
Katie: So candy is this secretive thing that my children have no idea exists, for as long as humanly possible, because if they don’t know it exists, it’s not a battle; it’s not a struggle, and it’s certainly not a deprivation. They just think raspberries are the most amazing thing ever encountered, right? So a bowl of raspberries is as good to them as a bowl of gummy bears. So that’s a super thing, if you’ve got a really young child. Just keep all the junk food as an unknown in their world.
Alyssa: Yeah, I think that is a really hard thing. You know, we teach a grandparents’ class for other reasons, but part of that is the struggle that this different generation doesn’t understand that sugar is a bad thing. They learned that sugar just rots your teeth. They have no idea that it does all the other bad things that it does to us internally, and starting our kids off so young with sugar in everything – sugar cereals and candy and just everything. They don’t get it, and it becomes a source of contention between the grandparents and the parents.
Katie: Totally, yeah. They think we’re depriving our kids of the joy of life, right? And it’s been fun, actually, watching my mother-in-law just see our kids. Like my third child literally asks for a bowl of feta cheese, like a container of feta cheese, to himself for his birthday from her. And it cracks her up, but I think she’s finally getting it. Like, if you don’t let them know that the craziness is out there, they’re happy. They’re still super happy, and you can give them love in many other ways other than sugar, including through food, like real, whole, healthy food.
Alyssa: That’s great advice! Well, tell our listeners again how to find this PDF.
Katie: Yeah, so 10 Snacks Your Preschooler Can Make Today at our website. It’s a free download, and we’re so excited to share that with you.
Alyssa: I’m so excited to download it for my daughter and do it today!
Katie: Good deal.
Alyssa: All right, well, thanks for visiting us again. Hopefully we’ll talk to you soon!
Katie: Absolutely. Thank you, Alyssa!
Alyssa: And you can always email us at info@goldcoastdoulas.com and find us on Facebook and Instagram. Remember, these moments are golden.
Do babies really need a chiropractic adjustment? Listen to Dr. Annie of Rise Wellness explain what happens to a baby’s body during pregnancy and delivery and how gentle methods can be extremely effective. You can listen to this complete podcast episode on iTunes or Soundcloud.
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Alyssa: Hi, welcome back to another episode of Ask the Doulas. I am Alyssa, postpartum doula and co-owner at Gold Coast, and we are talking to Dr. Annie again who is a local chiropractor. Hello!
Dr. Annie: Hello!
Alyssa: Last time you were here, we talked about your Webster certification and what that means for pregnant mothers, and I know that you specifically can work with — there’s a pediatric end to this?
Dr. Annie: Yes!
Alyssa: So tell me what you do with babies and kids and what do you say to parents who are maybe scared to bring their newborn in for a chiropractic adjustment? What does it look like?
Dr. Annie: So first of all, I’d like to say it’s a huge honor when a mom is willing to hand you their newborn baby and ask me to check their baby.
Alyssa: They get it, right?
Dr. Annie: Yeah, they get it, which is such a beautiful thing. They understand that the nervous system runs everything in the body and how important that is in development, in development of a child. So that’s just an awesome honor. I’ve had the opportunity to adjust a few newborns the day after they were born, which is so exciting. The analysis and adjustment for an infant is different. For anyone who’s familiar with chiropractic care, it can be kind of scary for some adults even. Analysis and adjustment of an infant is totally different from that. We say that the amount of pressure that you use to adjust an infant is the same that you would use if you wanted to check the ripeness of a tomato.
Alyssa: It’s very gentle, right?
Dr. Annie: Very, very, very gentle.
Alyssa: I’ve seen you adjust newborn babies in the hospital, Dr. Rachel’s babies. Very, very gentle.
Dr. Annie: It is, yeah, and part of that is because their spine is still cartilage. They’re not ossified yet, so we’re not trying to move bones.
Alyssa: They probably wouldn’t even crack if you tried, right?
Dr. Annie: No, no, exactly. You’re not looking for an audible crack in a child. No, not at all. We don’t do anything like that. Again, this is more — especially with kids, we’re looking a lot more at the neurology and how that is affected, and so in order to influence the neurology and make sure that everything is working appropriately and lined up appropriately, it doesn’t take a lot of pressure to adjust them. Now, why would we adjust an infant? I always think that’s a good question because babies don’t have back pain. A lot of people think that’s what chiropractic is good for. But when kids are coming through the birth canal, everything is compressed. The sutures kind of fold over each other, and then when the baby comes through, they’re often pulled out by their neck and tractioned by their neck, so that can lead to the very first subluxation. If they aren’t in the correct position for labor, once the uterus starts contracting — so let’s say a baby’s breech. Once the uterus starts contracting, it’s going to push down on the top of their head, too, so that can cause compression to their cervical spine. Kids who are born via C-section don’t go through the birth canal, but still, they find the head and then they pull them and kind of twist them as they’re coming out of the mom’s uterus, and they will pull them out like that. So there’s still a lot of traction that is placed on the infant’s cervical spine, and so that traction can misalign their bones in the very beginning. Now, if you have a misalignment there and your brain isn’t communicating with your body, that’s the main way that kids are getting their sensory input. That’s how they’re developing their brain, so being able to adjust them right when they’re born is an amazing thing. You can set them up for an entirely different life just by changing that sensory input and making sure that everything is in good alignment so they can develop appropriately.
Alyssa: I had clients who had horrible colic and their babies just won’t stop crying and they don’t know why, and oftentimes a chiropractic adjustment takes care of that for several reasons. You know, if things aren’t talking, or maybe there is some sort of pain, right? Even for nine months, you’re curved up in the fetal position. I mean, I’ve got to imagine that’s maybe not putting strain on an infant’s back, but…
Dr. Annie: I don’t know why, but there’s a common misconception that babies don’t feel pain the way that adults do, but that’s totally wrong. That comes up in the circumcision talk, which is way out of my scope, but babies do feel pain. They do feel that, and if you have a colicky baby, I think parents are attuned with their children enough to see that they’re in pain.
Alyssa: There’s something causing the pain.
Dr. Annie: Absolutely. And so with colic, with GERD and reflux and things like that, things that kids often have trouble with, the mechanism for that is that the rest of the body is run by your nervous system. Your brain coordinates and controls everything that goes on in your system, so if there is a miscommunication there, then things can’t function the way that they’re supposed to. So that’s why getting an adjustment can help with those issues. So it’s not necessarily that we’re treating the colic or we’re treating the constipation or ear infection. That’s another big thing that parents will bring their kids to a chiropractor for is ear infections. We’re not treating those things directly. What we’re doing is we’re treating the subluxation, the misalignment, that’s affecting the nervous system and allowing that to clear up, allowing the communication to restore, and allowing the body to heal itself the way it’s supposed to.
Alyssa: So what would you tell somebody who just doesn’t get chiropractic care? They don’t understand why you would need it, why would I bring my baby there. You know, if the body can heal itself, let it heal itself. What do you say to that? How do you counter that?
Dr. Annie: I do think the body can heal itself, which is awesome, as long as it has the right tools and the right resources and the right communication. So if you didn’t work out or if you didn’t eat healthy, your body could still function pretty well for a while until diseases and things like that caught up with it. The body is really good at adapting until it isn’t. But kind of the same thing: if you have a misalignment causing that interference to the communication, your body is going to keep functioning pretty good until it doesn’t, and so the thing with that interference to the nervous system is that we don’t necessarily see those things on a day-to-day basis stacking up. Sometimes people will have trauma and it’s like, this is what caused this misalignment and ever since then, I’ve had neck pain, and I just need that to be adjusted back. But a lot of times, it’s a lot of little things that are contributing, and then we say, you know, what was the one thing that triggered this? Well, it wasn’t. It was a lot of things. It was probably since childhood when you were born and you were pulled out and then you started walking and maybe you kept falling onto your butt or you fell out of a tree as a kid or you broke your arm falling off the playground and things like that accumulate, and then when we’re adults, we have all this pain. So why not address that when we’re a child? Why not make sure everything is lined up, everything is communicating the way that it’s supposed to and healing the way it’s supposed to so then those things don’t compound down the road? It’s much more preventative and wellness model rather than trying to fix you when you’re old and crickety.
Alyssa: Which is a hard concept for some people to understand, right? Like actually preventing these things from happening in the first place.
Dr. Annie: Right. But a lot of times, that is something that a lot of people will have to find out on their own, too. I’m here for education and information. If somebody doesn’t want to trust that, then…
Alyssa: They can come in and pick your brain for a little bit, right?
Dr. Annie: Yeah, absolutely. I’ll answer any questions they have, but sometimes you have to find out information on your own.
Alyssa: Right, until, like you said, we’re good at adapting until it doesn’t. And then when it doesn’t, then that’s when you go, oh, yeah, maybe she was right.
Dr. Annie: And usually it’s something small like picking up a laundry basket, and it’s like, I threw out my back just picking up this laundry basket!
Alyssa: Tell us where people can find Rise Wellness.
Dr. Annie: You can find us online at our website. Or we’re also on Facebook and Instagram at @risewellnesschiro.
